Archive forJanuary, 2018

House Guest

John’s daughter, Audra, is planning to visit us next month.

I’m really glad. We don’t know how long John will survive his lung disease and she should spend time with him while she can.

I’m sure she’ll be surprised at how his condition has deteriorated. We won’t be able to do as much with her as if he was feeling better, but she said she just wants to relax. We can provide her with a place to take it easy.

Our plans include going to our favorite restaurant, “Little Harbor,” to take in a beautiful sunset over Tampa Bay. Maybe we’ll go to Busch Gardens. Also a visit to Goodson Farms for strawberry shortcake is mandatory. She’ll only be with us three nights and four days. We’ll cram what we can into that short visit.

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Pacing ourselves

Maintaining John’s health requires planning.

Tomorrow is Thursday. Normally we go to “Sit and Get Fit” exercise class but we’re skipping it because Thursdays we also have Bill Markland’s country couples dance from 4:00-5:00 and we need lots of energy for John to be able to make it to an afternoon event. One event a day is plenty. We have to space out our activities. I want him to make it with energy to spare.

[Note: I ended up feeling rotten all day so we didn’t go to the couples dance hour anyway.]

In February, on Tuesday, the 20th, I’m in charge of the Michigan Club Pizza Party. That day will be a challenge.

In the morning, I have to go pick up the salad makings, the cupcakes, etc. I can do that alone (unless I find someone to ride with me to Sam’s Club.) John’s always gone with me for the morning purchases, but I think this time, he’ll be better staying home. I hope I can buy a lot of stuff from the grocery list before the 20th.

I’ll drop off everything at the clubhouse. I’ll go home for lunch and I’ll relax from about noon until 3:00 then I’ll head back to the clubhouse by golf cart.

At 3:30 my workers will start arriving to help with the party set-up. John will plan to arrive about 3:30 by car. The party starts at 5:00 and ends at 8:30.

John will head home when the party with all the activities ends (about 8:30) with clean up completed at 9:00.

We’ll both be pooped, by the time it’s over.

We need to be sure John’s oxygen generator has enough battery power. Generally, if he’s not moving much, he can go about 2 hours on a battery charge and he has two batteries. That will mean that if he’s at the party from 4:30 to 8:30, he’ll be out of power unless he takes it easy. We’ll bring the wall charger, so if necessary, he can set by a wall plug and re-charge.

So you can see that every event we participate in, requires planning around his need for energy, battery power and oxygen.

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Was that the Correct Way to Handle Things?

I’m far from perfect. Sometimes I don’t handle things very well.

The other day was a good example. John and I had gone shopping and it seemed every time I did something, it was wrong. I was trying, but I kept getting it wrong. Situation after situation backfired. It was escalating.

I’ve always been taught that “intentions” count. If you intend to do something kind and it doesn’t go as you’d hoped, you shouldn’t be given a black mark. You tried! Your efforts may not have produced the desired results, but being punished for your mistake is inappropriate.

I felt like a child being scolded even though I had hoped to do something kind for him.

But here’s where I went wrong…

Instead of realizing that John is dealing with health concerns that wear on him, I was angry or hurt or a bit of both. I know that was wrong of me. His attitude is understandable. He is human and feeling rotten all the time and losing ground with his health is difficult to deal with.

So what did I do?

I called a girlfriend and left. I spent the afternoon with her. I felt I needed to escape. I needed to get away. I told him I’d be a cell phone call away.

But John can’t escape. He is ill and it’s a progressive deterioration. He knows he’s not getting better.

At the time, it seemed that spending time apart was the best way to handle the problem. I was gone for nearly three hours. When I came back, he’d taken a peaceful nap and everything was fine. I felt better and so did he.

Should I have handled things differently, or did I respond correctly?

I try to be there for him, and it was one of the first times I’d been away from him in months. But I was running away. I diffused the situation but it was a coward’s way out.

Was I wrong?

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Yup, I’m congested. Apparently some allergy I haven’t identified. Tired of kleenex.

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“Death” by H.S.Holland

a comforting thought

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Cold cold cold

I miss wearing shorts and sandals. I miss going to the pool.

I’m tired of seeing folks bundled up as if they’ll freeze. Scarves and mittens in Florida are just plain wrong!

The forecast is that the temps will go up early next week to the mid 70’s. That I will enjoy!

All of 2018 has been cold! We’ve feared a deep freeze that would kill our flowering plants, but, thank heavens, the coldest has been in the high 30’s. It’s just that the temperatures we’ve experienced haven’t been what we expect when we’re down here. We need to warm up a tad and feel like we’re in our beautiful southern community.

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