Our friends, Linda and Wayne Conklin, who moved to Mexico a year or two ago, have decided to return to Kings Point. They are flying in this afternoon so they can look for a condo. They’ll be staying here with me. I have a few things to do before they arrive.

Yesterday I went to a grief support group meeting at the Methodist Church. I didn’t get too much out of it, but I figure I should give the folks a chance again next month.

Before I went to the meeting I dropped off some paperwork requested by John’s heart group doctors. There was an elderly lady with a walker near the door. I asked her if she was waiting for someone and she answered yes but she was concerned they weren’t coming. I asked her if I could give her a ride somewhere.

It took a while and a lot of struggling to get her walker fastened on the cart. But eventually I got her in the cart and away we went. She was so sweet!

Name is Elizabeth Purdy. Her home was about three from the place where my Mom and Dad lived when Dad died in 1986. When I first saw her, I had 45 minutes to kill but I arrived at the meeting with only minutes to spare. I was hot and worn out but it was worth it to help this lady and make a new friend.

I received the wire transferred funds about 4:30 this afternoon on the sale of our Michigan home. I can relax. The house is sold. It’s no longer my responsibility.

Joni and June (the two ladies I met Tuesday) met me in the south club at 6:00 for dinner. We had the best fish I’ve had in Florida. I really enjoyed it.

We talked and talked. I was a pleasant time. They followed me home to help me with my carpet selection. We all agreed that the sample I was leaning toward is the best for the room. I will take the carpet samples back tomorrow and place the order. Since it’s coming from California, it may take a couple weeks.

John was a wonderful husband and his thriftiness allowed us to build a nest egg. Our savings will provide me with what I need for the rest of my life. I just wish he would have relaxed and enjoyed the fruits of his labors. I know he enjoyed being thrifty. It was his way. When shopping, he’d drive around town to get the best bargains. I never challenged him because he felt good about it. Some people have fun collecting stamps, coins, or books. John got his pleasure from feeling he’d gotten a bargain. I don’t think he’d purchased a “new piece of clothing” for himself in a dozen years.

He always said he wanted to blow all of our funds and leave this earth spending the last penny. He was still in the saving stage and hadn’t started the spending phase.

But now I’m alone and I’m going to buy what will make life comfortable.

The only remaining big ticket items for a while will be the golf cart purchase (when it comes in), and the bedroom carpet. Sure I may spend a few $$s here and there. I would like a bedspread and bed skirt once the carpet is in.

The ladies today mentioned a new furniture store being built. Maybe I can find the loveseat I want.

Yesterday at about 4:30 I was notified that the closing on my Michigan home had taken place. I had to quickly call the power and water companies to end my responsibility for those two expenses. (The township handles the water and unfortunately they need a written shut off notice. They will send the form to me so it’ll take a week or more.) I also contacted my Michigan insurance company to end the insurance coverage. It’s now the new owner’s responsibility.

Vicki, my realtor said they’ll be wiring transferring the funds to my Ameriprise immediately, but it hasn’t happened yet (and it’s the next morning). But sounds like the closing was late.

After realizing I no longer have to worry about the house, I decided to celebrate. I got on my golf cart and headed to the South Club. I tried to find friends, but I didn’t see anyone I knew. (Although later I ran across a few folks.)

Two friendly looking ladies were at the bar and obviously comfortable. I approached them and asked if they would mind me joining them.

As it turned out, they are also widows (Sharon and Shirley). Shirley lives at Aston Gardens but Sharon is in a closeby Kings Point association. They are a little older than I am but close enough! I enjoyed a glass of wine while they ate their dinner and then I headed home.

While at the South Club, I received a text from Joni, one of the ladies I met Tuesday when I came to the Club for Taco Tuesday and karaoke. Joni and her friend, June, invited me to join them for fish tonight at the Clubhouse. I’m glad I’m making new (single) lady friends.

Yesterday was my one-month anniversary of my arrival at the condo. I’ve accomplished a lot.

I am trying to pick out carpet for the bedroom, but I’m unsure. I’m leaning toward a sculptured carpet with a palm design. I’m unsure if I want to go with very light (which may look like what’s in there now.) Maybe a slightly different color will accent that it’s different. I will have to study it a bit more.

I am trying to get a lot of stuff done that we’d put aside while John was ill.

I made a list of “projects” that would be nice to accomplish. They might never be completed, but it’s nice to look forward to them.

Soon

I’m already working on replacing the bedroom carpet. In fact, if it isn’t raining this afternoon, I plan to go down to the carpet store and pick it out. The present carpet was installed when the condo was built. It’s shabby.

The garage needs to be purged and then I’d like to have an easy to clean surface on the floor. There’s a bad crack which could be filled and covered.

Within a year

The above list is stuff John and I talked about but didn’t get around to doing. The landscape project would replace the front bush with a 3-tree palm group. John would keep that bush trimmed, but I’m too short to do it.

Later:

These are things John wouldn’t have considered important but for various reasons, I now feel I’d like to do them.

My bedroom furniture is old and definitely not my style.

I had a strange dream last night. I was talking to John on the phone. He was at our Michigan home. We were just chatting about trivial stuff.

Then he said something about John and I asked what he had said and he said “John died.”

I said, “What John? John’s my husband. You’re John.”

And he repeated, “John’s dead.”

I remember feeling confused. It was definitely John talking.

Strange.

Since I have an appointment Wednesday to have the master bedroom measured for carpet, I invited my handyman (Phil) to come over and fix my headboard. It was poorly installed by my “movers.” They didn’t anchor the headboard at all and instead just wedged it between the frame and the wall. Every time I turned over in bed the headboard rattled against the wall. I finally used an old pair of John’s heavy soxs to keep it from moving. (Couldn’t help but think that the headboard would wake up the neighbors, if it instead of a 76 year old widowed lady (me), it was a a sexually active couple in this condo.)

Phil fixed it and fixed a storage room door that wasn’t closing correctly.

Yesterday I bought a used Shark steamer mop ($20) to replace one that we had that had quit working. This one is much better. Finally my tile floors are looking pretty good. I also ordered a new batteries for my carpet sweeper. It makes keeping the kitchen lots easier and now that it’s working I feel I can handle get it in great shape.

I still need to get the lanai cleaned and the furniture in place but the every day rain has halted my progress there. Yes, every single day since I got here on the 23rd it’s rained and that has put the lanai on hold. I can’t see moving the clean furniture out there to get dirty, especially since it’s too hot to use it. I am realizing that every summer, I’ll probably pack away the cushions before the rainy season starts. I had no idea that EVERY SINGLE DAY it rains here. It’s thundering right now and every day the rest of week there’s to be more of the same… 90+ and several inches of rain.

I would still love to get a pet. I have been looking on the rescue websites but none are the kind John would have approved of. I would buy one from a good breeder, if I knew of one nearby. Tampa isn’t that far away and I found one in Sarasota. I understand that Kelly has developed allergies to a cat so it needs to be a small (really tiny) dog. I wouldn’t mind one of those designer dogs a moorgie-poo or whatever they’re called.

Evie came over today and we had a pleasant visit for a couple hours.

We talked about my “projects,” which I have prioritized.

At the top of the list, I realize I need to do something about the bedroom carpet. It’s just too gross to live with. At first I thought about ceramic tiles that look like wood in the great room, dining room, and master bedroom, but I have decided that’s too much of a project for now. I think I’ll just go the cheap route and replace the bedroom carpet. It’ll be under $800 or so but that’s lots cheaper than the bigger idea which I’m not sure of yet.

I find I sometimes rush into an idea and then I’m sorry. I’m trying to think things out. No more rushing into major purchases that I can’t reverse.

As an example, the original tile: It just isn’t what we really wanted. I think polished white marble would be lovely. Maybe, but I’m not sure, the wood grain tile would be ok, but white marble would be more dramatic.

I need to watch my money. I’m going to spend carefully. A 13 x 13 foot bedroom can be carpeted reasonably. The guys to measure will come next Wednesday.

I guess I thought that when I got down here, friends would come rushing over.

It hasn’t happened. I did enjoy the company of friends at the Baby Boomers dance the other night, and friend Richard has been loyal, but my female friends have stayed away. True, there aren’t many here.

I guess I’ll have to take the first step. Now that everything’s been put away, I need to clean and then I’ll invite small groups over for lunch or a glass of wine. Maybe neighbors, maybe friends from our social group, maybe dance friends.

I really need to deep clean first. Yesterday I noticed a corner going into the bedroom which had about an inch of dust/dirt. I can’t have folks visit until it’s polished. And the lanai hasn’t even been swept not to mention I need to move my lanai furniture from the garage. I’d hire a power wash guy to do the lanai but since it rains hard nearly every day, I need to wait until the rains have passed, and I sure don’t want my furniture with the cushions getting soaked every day.

I did go to lunch with Evie yesterday. (She’s here but only for a week because her daughter isn’t doing well.)

I finally tackled John’s closet. I FILLED my car. Boy, did he ever have a bunch of shirts! Of course there were also a couple suits, some sport coats, shorts, swim suits, and lots of shoes. He had a lot more than I thought.

Once I have the closet cleaned out, I’ll start re-locating my clothes there. It’ll be different to have my clothes close-by when I get up. (I’ve always used the guest room.) I’m trying to organize my thinking. A few things will stay in the guest room but it’ll be considerably different and easier when guests visit.

I’m simplifying a lot.

Of course the storage area has made it less cluttered. And my bedroom really looks different. There’s now an office area and the old bedside lamps have been replaced with some that are more fashionable. John’s bedside table is gone. The curtains need to be changed out but for now I’m not worried about them. I also need to replace the carpet but first I need to decide if I want the wood look, or carpet.

I haven’t touched the dirty lanai. I need to at least sweep it, but everyday it rains and that will mess it up again.

On another note, I’m putting off calling the caterer for John’s memorial service until I can exchange ideas with someone else. My friend Evie gets here this afternoon so I can bounce off her.

The caterer would charge $9 a plate (plus a tip) for croissant sandwiches, a salad, and brownies. The number of guests would need to be firm because I’d pay for whatever I ordered (no more, no fewer). I’d rather have it self-serve buffet style because I have no idea how many would attend. Maybe I could do it like Paul does his Christmas party. He buys chicken from Wynn Dixie, meatballs from Sam’s, gets frozen shrimp. I’m sure doing it like that would be less than $9 a plate and adjusting the number of attendees would be easier.

Went to a Baby Boomers party last night but it sure isn’t the same when you’re solo. Even when we didn’t dance, with John it was always fun and interactive. Last night I talked with Richard Brooks, who sat beside me, and Ron Ringenback. Linda R. did invite me to set with them, but others didn’t stop by at all. (I went over and talked to Marilyn.) I think the others felt awkward, but hopefully in time that will pass.

I had two invitations to dance but my toe wasn’t ready. Immediately after dinner, I was ready to leave. I got home before 7:00.

Dinner wasn’t great. I’m glad I went because I was auditioning the caterer for John’s memorial service and they failed.

Gradually I’m making progress. My to do list is shrinking.

I left the condo about 9:15 this morning and got back about 2:45.

It was a day I’d dreaded but I knew was necessary. The Michigan based insurance on my Florida car (which we’d left in the garage when we went north in May) was scheduled to end today and my Florida insurance was to start-up. But in order for the Florida insurance to “kick in” I had to have the car titled in Florida and John’s name removed from the title.

I thought I knew where to go but the licensing bureau had moved. I finally found the complex. In one building, I applied for Florida homesteading and a widows’ exemption from my real estate. I had to have the property title revised (minus John’s name). The tax benefits will cut my taxes by about half. (The process required going to two different desks, but it was fairly smooth and I was probably out of their by about 10:30.)

Then I had move my car and to go to the another building in the same complex and get my plates and car title revised. (Even worse than Michigan, the SOS office required that you take a number and wait and wait and wait.) I finally got to see an agent about 12:30. She completed the paperwork and I was able to pay for and get my Florida plates.

From there I went to Denny’s Restaurant for lunch and then to my bank to straighten out my credit cards and banking accounts which I thought I’d done on line but still showed 48609 (Michigan) as my zip code.

After that I stopped at a grocery store and picked up a few veggies, a bottle of wine, and a loaf of bread and got home a short while ago. Five and a half hours used up! Good thing I cancelled my cleaning lady appointment for today.

The shiny new plates with the big orange on them are now on my car and I’m legal until March 2020!

BTW that was the first time my car had left the garage and I’ve been here for TWO WEEKS.

Tomorrow a guy is coming by to pick up some stuff I’m donating to a thrift store. I’m sure this is just the “first load.”

Since I’ve been here, it’s rained EVERY day and it’s been over 90 degrees. Finally today there’s a blue sky and no rain. I haven’t been out so I don’t know how humid it is, but I imagine it’s pretty sticky.

At 2:00 the guy from Ray’s will come over and pick up my golf cart. I really want one that’s reliable and this one isn’t. The owner is so honorable that he has tried to explain that I’ll take a beating when I trade it in. That doesn’t matter to me. I need to be able to trust my transportation. It’s nice to find a business person who is looking out for his customers.

The condo is gradually looking better. I need tackle John’s dresser and and closet. Once I’ve cleaned them out, I will have more room for the clothes I brought from Michigan. I need to figure out how to get organized. I need a plan so I will immediately know where things are stored. The guy I want to have construct a storage area will be coming over tomorrow. He’ll also put the file cabinet together for me.

I know I need a file cabinet but I haven’t figured out where to put it. Probably either my bedroom or maybe the dining room. It’s going to be heavy so moving it around isn’t going to be easy.