I’ve been enjoying singles dances. I’m impressed by the folks I’ve met at these events. The ladies are friendly; the guys polite.

I definitely find it’s lots more fun than going to couples’ events.

There are three single dances each month. Two are in Sun City Center, and one in KP. I would prefer to go by golf cart, but since it’s dark when the dance is over, I can’t do that in SCC. The longest day in June would have an 8:30 sunset and I generally leave the dance about 9:00.

I’ve met a nice lady, Pat, who doesn’t drive. I picked her up for the last dance. I don’t mind going after her but in Kings Point, I will want to go by golf cart so I hope she can get another ride.

My Euchre card games at the Moose Lodge in Ruskin have been held on Mondays and Thursdays starting at 1pm, but with the snowbirds having left, they’ve dropped Thursdays. A Sun City Center couple has offered to hold the Thursday play days at their home. I will be able to go by golf cart. Tomorrow will be the first time.

Yesterday the PR person for the Emergency Squad posted a job description for an assistant that would fit me perfectly.

“I am in need of a volunteer who is comfortable with different computer software programs or learning them, and communicating by email, text or phone on a reliable and consistent basis.

‘Tasks may include assisting with producing the Siren, organizing for events, taking photos or writing press releases. Good proof-reading skills are also important.”

The problem is that I don’t want more work and there’s no assurance that this job would be on a schedule that would fit mine. I’ll ignore it.

Yesterday it rained. And rained. And rained. My back and side yards were like a lake.

When I got here in July it rained every afternoon in July and August. Is this a signal of things to come?

At least I took out flood insurance.

John and I have worked on this condo since we bought it in 2008. Some of our projects exceeded our expectations but others were duds.

I love our slider windows at the end of the great room, the kitchen is ok (although I wish we’d gone with a different granite countertop.) The storage cabinets in the room as you go toward the garage are awesome. Our shower is great! The crown molding perfect! The extension added to our lanai and patio are what I could only dream of. But some projects have failed miserably! I hate our floor tile and it’s throughout our condo. Our couch isn’t as attractive as I’d hoped and both chairs are uncomfortable.

A week or so ago, I replaced a perfectly good plasma TV because it was really heavy and I feared an accident with a 32 inch flat screen, 75-pound, television falling over. (It had already happened to me once several years ago with an old tv.) So I bought a reasonably priced ultra high definition 50-inch Samsung. After the box was opened, I realized it was too big for my chest of drawers. It wouldn’t fit on the surface. I looked around on-line and found a bracket to mount on the top of my chest.

Today my handy guy put the bracket together and mounted a lovely wood-look ceiling fan in my bedroom. These items will never go on my “mistakes” list. I’m truly satisfied with them.

Next renovation will be the switch-out of the master bath vanity lights. I think the new light, which will be installed tomorrow, will be a great improvement!

Future improvements include pavers in the driveway and sidewalk, bedroom furniture, new vanity in master bath, garage cleanout, garage floor re-surface, and some power washing. I’d like all that done this summer.

Yes, I lost John, my husband, almost a year ago, but I still feel I’m the luckiest lady around! I wouldn’t change places with anyone. I got to enjoy John for nearly 33 years!!!! I was/am blessed.

True, things for me have changed with John’s passing but my life is still darned good! I don’t get to do as many social activities, but I have found things to keep myself occupied and I certainly can’t complain.

My tiny dog is a blessing. She’s so cuddly and loveable. She enjoys my lap and shows me affection constantly

Life is still awesome!

I buy in excess. Right now I have enough toilet tissue to last me til next year. I have multiples of my favorite lotion hand soap (Jergens). Sophie has a huge supply of dog food (dry and canned). I just bought lots of white washcloths (two bundles of 16 each) because I use them all the time. I have a large package of multiple dental floss plastic purse packs. My storage area contains lots of boxes of kleenex.

Almost always I have an extra big can of coffee, extra napkins, and a full tank of gas.

Yesterday I went on Amazon and found Tide in a different kind of container. I bought six 48 oz. Tide refills. Previously I bought a huge (150 ounce) container which costs about $20. The price of the refills is approximately the same but I am helping by not contributing more plastic waste. Instead of a bottle, the 48 oz. containers are plastic “bags.” I just had to pour the new bag into my old bottle and I’m set. (And I still have refills left to keep me in detergent for quite a while.)

April 10, 2019…

My tiny dog is really doing beautifully with her “training.” As long as I keep a very clean puppy pad for her to use, she heads right to it. If it’s soiled, she avoids it. In other words, she has me trained changing her pad.

April 12, 2019…

Here in Kings Point in Sun City Center, Florida, it is currently 89 degrees at 3:25. Beautiful breeze. Sunny with a few clouds. A tiny bit humid but not as bad as mid-summer. I would invite you all down to fill the spaces the snow birds have left, but honestly, it’s kinda nice with a smaller population. I wouldn’t want it this way year-round, but it is quieter and easier to pull out on SR-674 even with road construction. Snow birds, there’s always a more satisfactory tempo when you’re all here. Many of our close friend are snowbirds. Snowbirds are fun, lively, and great neighbors. They are important in what we know as Kings Point. But in the meanwhile we’ll enjoy this slow-down in our community’s pace with shorter lines, less traffic, more empty seats.

Later April 12, 2018…

I may have made a huge mistake with Sophie. Thursday I enjoyed a lovely dinner at Carrabba’s, Chicken Marsala. It was sooooo good but more than I could eat so I brought one huge breast back home with me and tonight I warmed it up and enjoyed it almost as much as Thursday. Sadly I couldn’t eat all of my leftovers so I cut up the leftover chicken breast in small pieces and gave it to Sophie. Have I now refined her pallet to the point that her all chicken dog food will be yucky for her? I may have spoiled her past the point of no return. She’s always enjoyed Nature’s Recipe’s Real 100% Chicken dog food which is so good it smells like people food but I’m sure Carrabba’s is better. What do I do now?

My Sophie has discovered the wild life outside the slider windows at the end of my great room. Squirrels are her favorites, but she also likes geckos and the white birds that walk past. She stands patiently waiting for one to appear, then there’s a blur as the squirrel runs the length of the patio and Sophie keeps up inside, barking at the critter. I doubt the squirrel can hear her through the heavy glass but Sophie’s proud that she’s saved us again from the attack of the fur creature.

I am learning to navigate the “single world” in Kings Point/Sun City Center(aka KP and SCC). I am finding I fit into the singles groups better than couples parties. Most singles events are 80% women but that’s fine. They’re generally nice folks. I’m realizing I’m not interested in most of the stuff that’s offered for singles.

I still love to dance. I don’t care if I dance with guys (although that’s nice) but line dances with 90% women are fine.

I’m not that interested in “game nights” nor potlucks.

I wouldn’t mind an old fashion cocktail party where you wander around with a drink in your hand and strike up a conversation with others at the party so you get acquainted. But maybe those are too old-school. (We do have one on Christmas Eve but I’d like a non-holiday one. Maybe I can host it once Sophie settles down.)

I did discover that SCC has two singles dances and KP one a month. I’d love to go to them. This month I can work two into my already pretty full schedule: one in SCC on the 27th and the other in KP on the 29th of April.

Life is good! I was lonely so I did something about it. You can’t expect to “fit in” unless you try. It’s fun to have so many activities you can’t crowd them all in.

If John were still alive there are things he’d really approve of and others he’d probably question.

He’d approve of Sophie. She’d have him wrapped around her paw. He’d have claimed her immediately and she wouldn’t be “mine.”

He’d love the storage area and knowing that I’ll be here in the summer, he would probably approve of the roof over the patio. The mattress would be a yes. The golf cart was too pricey so he’d find that I’d over-spent on it.

He’d wish I was more into exercise classes but he’d definitely approve of my friends: Evie, the Conklins and Irene Goetz. And he’d be glad that I’m volunteering for the Squad.

He’d be disappointed that I’m not closer to the friends we made over our many years here, but I think he’d understand that I’m just in a different social group now.

He’d be glad that I’m not selling this place, and he’d approve of keeping our car and not up-grading.

I think about now he’d think that it’s time to put pavers on the driveway and sidewalk. I haven’t changed the furnishings here, and he’d approve. He’d wonder why I don’t go to the Country Couples dances on Thursday nights, but if he was in my shoes he’d understand.

So I think that all and all, I’m doing things he’d approve of. He will always influence how I do things.

After analyzing my situation, I’ve decided it’s MY FAULT!

I need to change my activities. I can’t depend on the clubs and friends I enjoyed when John was with me. Those are situations for “couples.” I need to find other avenues where I can meet folks and fit in.

Euchre playing is a good step in the right direction. Those folks aren’t coupled up. Among that group, maybe I’ll find friends who are male or maybe female. We’ll all just be “friends.” The singles club where I’ve been involved is good. At least I don’t feel alone. I really like Irene, Mary B. and others but I’d also like mixed company and that group has only one male.

I have decided to get involved with the “Singles Mingle” group in Kings Point and the Singles Club in Sun City Center. No, I’m not looking for a man, but I am looking for a place where I’ll fit in. A singles club is probably best and hopefully as a result I’ll be less lonely.

Friday there’s a Singles Mingle dance. I’m going with Debbie, who is involved with the Michigan Club. I have hopes that this may be the kind of group where I can find friends.

Things are moving along. I can’t complain.

Still concerned about reporting taxes. I called our CPA and she said, “Don’t worry.” She doesn’t realize how little I can provide her this year. Everything is disorganized.

I’m adjusting to my volunteer commitment at the Emergency Squad every eight days. It starts a little early. (I’m there at 7 a.m.) but I’m out at noon.

Sophie’s potty training is showing hope. She does ok when I leave her. She still misses her puppy pad over night with her little logs, but it’s not bad and at least she’s using the pad for her piddle. I’m hoping I can eventually put my two area rugs back down in the great room, and I can unknot the drapes that are floor length. I just don’t want her to ruin something.

I played euchre three times in a week (two times at the Moose and once at KP), but took a break last night. I think I’ll go tomorrow.

Friday Evie and I will go to the race track in Tampa. Should be a fun day.

Today the single group is having a catered dinner and movie at the Kings Point North Clubhouse. Tomorrow my cleaning guy is coming about noon. Tomorrow night, if I’m in the mood, I can go to Bingo. Sunday is our regular breakfast at Fiore’s. Monday I have an appointment to have the pressure checked in my eyes and there’s a sportsman’s club meeting. Wednesday is my Squad day and in the afternoon, the final street party will be held featuring Elvis. Friday Evie is driving us to Tampa Downs for horse racing (and a lovely buffet) with the Sportsman’s Club. When we get back to Kings Point, from 4-6 pm, the community garage sale will be held and Saturday a.m. the sale’s leftovers will be available. Of course, if I feel up to it, Monday and Thursday I can go to the Ruskin Moose for euchre or go to the North Clubhouse on Tuesday to play. (Looking at my schedule, I’ll probably go Tuesday and maybe Thursday.)

I still need to finish my tax information for my CPA and write up a financial summary of the Michigan Club Pizza Party.

I’ve been leaving Sophie more than I should. Her housebreaking is coming long slowly. She uses her puppy pads for her piddles but I do find her poop where it shouldn’t be. She plays hard all day, but likes to be held in the evenings.

After more than 30 years away from the game, I tried the Kings Point Euchre Club last night. There were about 80-90 sharp folks who were friendly, non-judgmental and fun. I’m sure I’ll go back.

The $1 fee was returned to us as prizes and I won one of them.

I ended up splitting the boobie prize for the evening’s lowest total (41) so I won 50 cents. I had lousy cards but that happens.

The one thing I liked was that there were more guys than gals. True, all seemed to be married, but at least I interacted with men!! I’m not looking for a guy, but it was nice to exchange jokes with them, and talk about non-girly topics.

If I like it enough, I can even go to the Moose Club in Ruskin on Monday and/or Thursday afternoons. It costs $2.50. That might work out better because than the Tuesday KP club ends kinda late (after 9 pm). The Moose starts at 1:00 (but it was recommended to arrive about 12:30 and I’d guess I’d be done before 4:00.)

I may have found my niche or at least a place where I fit in solo.

I love dancing, but that takes being part of a couple. Going to Busch Gardens is fun but a long drive. Dinner alone is awkward. Last night’s card game was closeby. (I drove my golf cart). It’s cheap, and mentally challenging.

I really need to brush off the mental cobwebs. With advanced players, it takes moving to a thinking level which I haven’t used for years and years. Hopefully I’m not too old to get it back. We’ll see.

I am lazy and lethargic. I don’t feel ill, but I don’t have much incentive to go out.

Part of the reason is Sophie. She loves to be in my lap. I love it when she curls up with me and sleeps but it’s easy to have the hours pass.

I am having second thoughts about the Emergency Squad and it’s bothering me. I feel more lonely there than I do at home. It’s basically been suggested that I don’t talk about my problems/life. Ok, I’ll try it for another couple of weeks, but unless things change, I think I’ll resign.

The folks at the squad are nice, but it’s apparent that someone has complained that I am “sharing” too much about my “sad” situation and they’d prefer that the “customers” not hear about our problems. I can understand their reasoning, but I need more support. I don’t feel that sad, but I do feel that lonely.

I guess I felt that at least some folks who are in the same situation would appreciate knowing that others who are in same boat would like to be friends. That’s what I need… friends. Where do I find them?

I’ll see how my association with the Squad works out, but I need something else.

After spending more than I should have to buy my tiny dog, admittedly I had second thoughts. Why did I get her? Why had I tied myself down?

My house isn’t nearly as attractive. My white floor-length drapes are looped up so Sophie can’t play with them, my pretty rugs (white long pile and hand-woven wool) have been rolled up and stored away so she won’t potty on them, and I keep several doors closed or blocked so her accidents are limited to the tile in the great room and kitchen.

But gradually she seems to be catching on. Most mornings her doggy droppings are on her puppy pads. She still has accidents but she’s beginning to understand what is expected. Eventually I hope I can put the rugs back and let the drapes go back to the floor.

We’re establishing a routine. When she gets up at about 8:00 she wants to play. I feed her and then she romps and runs around and around until she’s worn out. She then comes to me and begs to be lifted onto my lap where she curls up and sleeps for at least an hour. I don’t mind being tied down while she’s resting. We do the same thing late in the afternoon after dinner. She snoozes on my lap until it’s time for bed. Yup, I’m raising a lazy lap dog but that’s what I want.

What about my “Why did I get her?” question. No longer can I imagine my life without her. I’m so glad she’s mine. She showers me with love and affection. We’re a good pair and she’s excellent company.

Sophie loves to be with me. She follows me everywhere I go.

That includes when I go to the bathroom. When I’m on the toilet, she likes to stick her little head between my legs next to the toilet. She tries to poke her head through the leg of my panties so she can look me in the eye. She’s sweet but I value my privacy.

Every day, after she’s worn herself out playing, she begs to be placed on my lap while I’m relaxing on the couch. She’ll snooze there for hours. She’s like an anchor. It’s hard to accomplish anything with her holding me down.

I’m finally feeling pretty good. I run down fast and I wake up congested, but I think the residual is caused by allergies.

I skipped the Michigan Club’s SnoBall last night. The music always encourages the couples to dance but I didn’t want to just sit and watch so I decided it wasn’t the place for me. I’m glad I stayed home. Sophie slept in my lap most of the evening and I felt her warmth and love.

Evie and I have been doing a lot together. She’s a flexible “date.” We’re going to a breakfast this morning with the singles group.

I’d like to go to Busch Gardens this week (to see the Herman’s Hermits guy) but it’s supposed to be cool all week and I don’t think that sitting on cement seats is the place for me yet. There will be other acts I can go to.

I have a ticket for a wine and cheese party on February 9th. Evie and some of her friends will make up our table. February 10th will be the Country Hoedown dance. I’m joining the single ladies’ table. It should be a good time even without a date.

The Michigan Club Pizza Party is the 15th of February (I’m chairman). On March 1st, Evie and I will go to the Sportsman’s Club’s day at the horse races complete with a lovely buffet.

Of course I’m working at the Emergency Squad every eight days. (Yesterday was one of the days.) It’s a pleasant way to spend the morning. Gets me out of the house.

Today is a rainy cool day. I wish I wasn’t going any place but Evie and I will enjoy a pleasant breakfast and then we’ll stop at the grocery store. I do need to get a few items, so I can brave the cold and damp for Sophie and me.

Maybe my energy isn’t completely back, but I’m on the way to recovery. Soooo much better. It all started with a sore throat about the 19th of December. Here it is January 14th. ‘Bout time!

Haven’t been doing much that’s social but got out a few times and I have a few activities on my calendar:

Karaoke on Tuesdays. I think I’ll go tomorrow night..
Sportsman’s Club meeting this Wednesday and a Sportsman’s Club day at the horse races on March 1st.
Dinner next Tuesday at Texas Roadhouse with the Singles group
A potluck a week from Wednesday.
Lunch and a bingo at the Catholic Church next Wednesday with lady friends.
Thursdays from 4-5 there’s always the Country Couples gatherings
Saturdays at 6pm I can decide to play bingo at the North Clubhouse

Non-social events on my calendar include a dental appointment this Thurday and a week from Friday Sophie will be neutered.

I’m busy enough.

It’s too cool for the pool (65 degrees today) but at least the sun is out.

I’m over my “cold” but I’m still weak. I just have no zip. Guess that’s to be expected but I’d love to feel peppy.

Hope you enjoy this very true story which was published first on Friday, December 4th, on Facebook.

I just got back from having my hair cut. Sophie was anxious to see me because I’d been gone several hours so when I opened the door from the garage into the house, she tried to come out. Knowing that I’d left the big garage door up and I didn’t want her to “escape,” I quickly stepped into the room where I’d isolated her. And yup, I stepped right into one of her poops (which aren’t especially small.) I quickly took off my sandal and sorta took a hop into the room with my one remaining sandal on. And yup, stepped in it again! As I yanked off both sandals, I heard the phone ringing. I ran in. It was my security system company. With all the door confusion, I’d forgot to enter the security code when I came in so the alarm went off and they wanted to know if they should send help. I explained that it was me and no need to send help. (But maybe by that time I did need assistance.) Mess is now cleaned up. Sandals have been scrubbed off, I’m resting.

And a PS to the story: I ran across the great room to grab the phone which triggered the motion detector so they had to call me a second time because I had TWO alarms: the door and the motion.

Sophie had a vet appointment this morning. She now weighs 2 1/2 pounds.

She’s scheduled to be neutered, have a microchip implanted, and get the rest of her shots all on January 25th.

After we got home, I took Sophie for a golf cart ride. It was a beautiful day! We stopped at Bob and Sue Bemis’s, Evelyn Gates’ and Evy Cronin’s condos. All were glad to see my tiny baby.

I’m now back home. It was just a little too much. I had thought that from 4:00 to 5:00, I’d go to the clubhouse for the country couples social hour, but I’m staying here. I’m totally worn out. I do feel lots better than I have been feeling but I don’t want to over-do it. I know I’m susceptible to any bugs that are out there.

I am a little worried. After I got inside the Bemis condo, I found out Bob has been sick too. If he had a different version of a cold-bug, I could catch his. I only stayed a couple minutes. I sure don’t need to try to fight another germ.

I do feel better, but I’m not up to par yet. I took the golf cart to town.
Stopped at the pharmacy and was told that I need to see a doctor since the discharge from my nose isn’t clear which means I need an antibiotic. I would but I am allergic to penicillin so there’s not much that I can take to help an infection.

I think I’m doing a pretty good job fighting my way back. Betcha tomorrow I’ll be even better.

I’ve been taking it easy but I’m still not 100%.

My sinuses won’t quit filling up.

I missed Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve and now New Year’s Day festivities. I just don’t want to be with folks.

It’s no longer that I think someone will catch it, I’m afraid that I am susceptible to whatever’s out there and I could get even sicker. So many of our friends have been up north and now they’ve returned. They’ll bring all those tough northern germs down with them.

Last night (New Year’s Eve) I went to bed early (10 p.m.) but fireworks woke me up about 11:55. Even with the interruption, I did get a nice night’s sleep.

At least the weather’s been great (low 80’s).

About December 20th I felt I was coming down with something. Started as a sore throat and progressed to a lot of discharge and a bad cough.

Plans for Christmas Eve at the Stinson’s and Christmas Day at Joanie & Dennis Franz’s house were cancelled. I even cancelled my scheduled work day today at the Emergency Squad.

Next on my schedule, Monday, is a New Year’s Eve party. On Tuesday I have two New Year’s Day brunches. Wednesday is my next Squad day and hair appointment.

I just hope this goes away but I’ve heard that three weeks is common with this bug.

I’m trying hard to stay involved and I want to socialize more. It would be easy to get into a funk and I won’t let that happen.

On Saturday, the 15th, I went to the Emergency Squad Banquet. The next day, I went to dinner (Sunday evening) with the Coopers and the Brooks, two super nice couples John and I enjoyed. They’ve continued to include me in activities but they also encourage me to do things on my own.

On Monday, the 17th, the Michigan Club had a potluck. My “date” was Evelyn, a widow friend I’ve known for years.

Last night (the 18th) I went solo to Karaoke night at the South Club. At first I sat where my daughter (Kelly) and I had met new folks on November 6th when she was visiting. I felt I had “connected” with one of the widowed ladies, but last night, she was preoccupied with others and I didn’t feel welcome. I’m realizing that just because I “need” friends, most single ladies already have their circles of friends and they aren’t always anxious to have another lady crowd into their group.

I did find one lady who had reached out to me (Brenda). She is a 2-year widow. She invited me to sit with her and others at a dance, and last night was very willing to have me join her table. I guess I just have to learn to wait for friendships. I can’t be too eager.

It’s all so new!

And speaking of new, Sophie (my new dog) has been a challenge. We have highs and lows. Sometimes she’s literally a little “shit” like this morning when she made a mess of her “bedroom.” She has puppy pads to help with house breaking but she’d walked through the stuff and it was awful!!! After I’d cleaned her and the room up, she crawled up in my lap and we had a cuddle session that felt great.

There are times when she runs non-stop for 15-20 minutes. I let her run but there are limits as to what I’ll let her do. She can’t pull on the floor length drapes. She can’t piddle on rugs. I’m trying to get her to understand that life is filled with “nos.”

Some days she’s totally affectionate. Other times she chews my fingers and it hurts. I’m learning that she’s doing what she’d do with other puppies. She just doesn’t realize that she can only “bite” down a little before it hurts. According to an article I read, I need to respond like her siblings would and let out a loud yelp. It has been helping when I respond loudly. I also bought a PetGentle device which makes an ultrasonic sound when you press the button. It’s supposed to be a way to let her know when she’s done wrong. She’s a baby. She has a lot to learn. So do I!!!

Socially I think I’ll do better when I can get out and about. It’s been cool and today rainy. No pool days for a couple weeks. In fact today, I was supposed to go to a 3:00 meeting but it was pouring and I wasn’t about to go out in it. (In fact it’s still raining hard.)

Sophie’s improving her disposition and bad habits.

She’ll stay in her puppy playpen. She doesn’t like it if I’m in view, but she eventually sleeps.

She’s also done pretty good overnight. She isn’t nearly as noisy. She doesn’t like it, but she’s adjusting.

She’s getting better about stopping what she’s doing if I yell, “SOPHIE!!!” She may just be starting to squat, but she’ll stop what she’s doing and look at me. It is a great improvement.

She’s eating beautifully. She likes canned food better than the dry stuff. Yesterday I bought four tins of puppy food and she ate one today (half this morning and half at dinner time).

She’s discovered a few new bad habits: She likes to rip newspapers apart and carry the pieces around. My soxs are hers when I don’t have them on. It’s fun to watch her run in circles carrying one or two. And when I do have them on, she likes to bite them. She also likes to nibble my fingers. Her little teeth are sharp.

She’s doing will with company.

Today Paul Hunt was here for a couple hours. She was in her playpen and she didn’t bother us at all.

Anyone who knew me in 2011 or before knows John and I had a cute chihuahua named Willow.

Willow was named for Leslie Raber’s beautiful tune, “Willow Waltz.”

And if you knew me when Les was living, you know he and I shared a beautiful friendship.

Les was a marvelous Michigan musician/fiddler who friended us and became like a father to me. Les and Rosemary and John and I enjoyed lots of wonderful times. Les was recognized by the Smithsonian Institute and his fiddle playing was recorded for their archives. He was also named a “Michigan Treasure” by the state legislature. But to me he was more than that. He was a close friend who confided in me, honored me with his friendship, and shared a lot of his life with me. When we got our puppy, Willow, I asked Les if I could name my new puppy “Willow Waltz.” His response: “I’d be honored.”

Les had also written another lovely waltz, “Sophrinia.” That tune is more popular than almost any tune played by Michigan’s old-time dulcimer players. It seems appropriate to name my new doggy, Sophrinia and for short, call her Sophie.

Last week I called Les’s daughter, Judy. I explained that I was thinking about naming my new puppy Sophrinia. Her answer matched her father’s. She said, “It would be an honor.”

Here you can see Les’s lovely tune, “Sophrinia” and even play the music from this link at the top where the small notes are shown. http://www.dulcimers.com/tunes/sophrina.html On my computer, it downloads and I have to re-click on the midi file title at the bottom of my screen to have it pay the music.

I am sure I’ll enjoy Sophie, and I’m going to start playing John’s harp again. When I do, one of the first tunes I’ll learn to play is “Sophrinia.”

You’ll find me posting lots of Sophie photos. I’m sure she’ll be very important in my life.

I have been trying to stay focused and accomplish some of the tasks I’ve been putting off.

The tree’s up and decorated. I’ve contacted all of the folks from my condo association to sell them tickets to the COA’s Christmas party.

Yesterday, I wrote out a bunch of thank you notes to folks who helped with John’s celebration of life. It took me several hours because I made them all personal and detailed.

Today I used the Cologard kit and sent it by UPS to the company to test for colon cancer. I also got stamps for the thank you notes, and I went to the SCC Emergency Squad to turn in a contribution in John’s memory.

After that, I went out for a solo lunch at Beef O’Brady’s.

This afternoon I took the savings bonds I’ve been holding and started the procedure to cash them. Unfortunately the procedure is going to be quite involved because the bonds were issued to John C. Skaryd OR John Skaryd, Sr., and others were to John OR his mother. Mine were to me OR my mother, and there was one made out to John OR me. In each case where there are two names and one has died, I have to provide a certified death certificate. I can provide John’s and Mom’s, but not John’s dad’s or his mother’s certificate. I need to complete 14 pages of forms. It all takes time. I spent a couple hours today and there’ll be more spent before I can send the paper work in. I need John’s mom and dad’s death certificates first.

But I’m making headway.

Tomorrow I need to pick up the stuff I need to do for the Michigan Club. Again, that’ll be very time consuming.

I’ve been dreading the holidays. For Thanksgiving and Christmas, John and I had a tradition of cooking huge meals for just the two of us. We preferred to have our “dinner for two.” It was our choice but maybe we were wrong.

There were some years when Shelly and Richard Brooks had a large Thanksgiving gathering and some years, we volunteered at our church, but most years we had our own dinner.

This year is my first year without John. I’ve been concerned about the holidays. As Thanksgiving approached, I realized I had NO plans. Everyone had families coming or they were heading north.

A few days ago, friends asked what I’d be doing and realized I’d be alone. They had planned a dinner with another couple but now they’re setting a place for me. Nick and Pauline, I appreciate your generous gift to me.

Why am I posting this??? Because I’ve just figured out a solution.

For Christmas I’d like to open my doors to anyone who wants to share dinner with me. Singles or couples will get priority. I’ll put the turkey in my new oven and have others bring a dish to pass. I just know I don’t want to be alone. For Thanksgiving (especially since I badly sprained my ankle), it sounded like too much work, but I am walking better and maybe I can do it!!!

I’m not positive I’ll be able to handle it, but before December 25th, please make your tentative reservation at Sharon Skaryd’s. I figure I can crowd quite a few, but it’ll help to know how many to plan for. If it gets too big, I may have to cut off reservations but there’s always room for another person or two. Or maybe we’ll go out to dinner at a restaurant.

And if I don’t get any folks who want to come, I’ll figure out something else.

Or maybe folks who truly want to do cooking at their house can do what Nick and Pauline are doing and invite others.

Gradually I’ve been fixing up the condo. It’s really looking good.

Knox Aluminium finished up the roof over my back patio and I added outdoor carpeting so it really looks nice.

My new kitchen appliances (range, microwave and dishwasher) have been installed. It makes a lovely difference in the kitchen.

I’ve ordered a very full 7.5′ Christmas tree which will be here before Thanksgiving. John’s good buddy, Bob Bemis, said he’ll help me put it up since I don’t think I can do it alone. A glorious Christmas tree has always been the highlight of my holiday season. John’s health didn’t allow him to help put up a big one so I pretended it wasn’t important, but this year I’m going grand!

I have purchased several live plants for the great room. I’ve done some rearranging so the tree can be centered in the middle of the sliders and seen from outside. The coffee table I brought from Michigan will need to be relocated and can either go under the side window in the great room or in the dining room. My harp has been moved so it’s more visible.

I hope to make a few more of my lovely crocheted ornaments so I can include them.

I told her she could stay forever, but she headed back to her sweet husband in Monterey, CA. Sadly she’s heading into the smoke caused by the California fires.

We had a great two weeks which flew past. We did almost everything I had hoped to do. We got her KP badge for her so now she’s officially an owner, I brought her up to speed on how she’d take over here, if I was out-of-commission. We went to Little Harbor, karaoke, restaurants, shopping, more shopping, swimming pools, bingo on Saturday night, Busch Gardens, and we hosted a lovely “Celebration” of John’s life. We watched a couple movies each day (previously I rarely watched any alone), but it was fun together.

The place is quiet, but today the workers from Knox Construction are putting the roof over my patio. It’s a two-day project.

It’ll be a nice place to relax and enjoy the scenery. I ordered four outdoor rugs to make it prettier. I’m going to love it.

I feared that the roof-line would interfere with my view and cut down on the light in the greatroom but somehow it makes it cozier. I’m glad I’m having it added.

This place is really shaping up. John would be pleased. Most of the “projects” were on our to-do list for years, but with John’s poor health we postponed everything. Our life was on hold. Now I’m trying to catch-up.

When the construction is complete, I’m going to decorate the patio with poinsettias and tiny lights. It’ll be lovely.

I need to go shopping for a new Christmas tree. I want one that’s 7.5′, pre-lit and perfect so I can decorate it beautifully.

We’ve been having a good time. We had a surprisingly fun evening playing bingo Saturday. Last night we went to dinner with the Conklins at Applebee’s. Nice time.

We’ve been making lists and checking them twice for John’s celebration of life on Wednesday.

I love having her here and will really be lonely when she leaves a week from tomorrow.

I’ve been considering getting a dog.

I’ve been staying off my feet in hopes that my ankle will heal. It’s been over a week, and it’s still really sore and colorful.

My daughter, Kelly, will be arriving tomorrow night and I want to be able to show her a good time with lots of activities. Sadly I know I’m going to have to continue to take it easy today and tomorrow. At least it’s feeling somewhat better this morning.

I need to do laundry and some last minute shopping. (Need to get detergent before I do the laundry.)

I wasn’t looking forward to this morning because I had an eye doctor appointment an knew that meant I’d have my eyes dilated which I hate. (My eyes have a tendency to stay dilated longer than normal.)

I limped in as a result of the ankle injury which my daughter, Kelly, felt I should have checked out.

My eyes were fine.

Since the emergency room of the hospital was right next door to the eye doctor’s office, I felt I didn’t have an excuse so I stopped at the hospital and had my ankle x-rayed.

Thank heavens it’s not broken. I was told to wrap it with an ace bandage and stay off it. (That really helped and right now it feels much better.)

But there were other complicating problems. I was told by the hospital that my Medicare and AARP supplemental insurance addresses still showed my Michigan address.

Once home, I tried to fix the problem.

I started with my AARP supplemental insurance and spent two hours and five minutes (most of the time on hold) trying to resolve the problem. When I changed my address, it prompted the cancellation of my prescription plan, and I was never able to set up a new plan. I’ll try another day.

I did get my Social Security and my Medicare plans moved to my Florida address.

But the day wasn’t totally miserable. My friends/neighbors the Cochrans (Terre and Norm) had invited me over for “happy hour.” Several glasses of yummy wine and muchies helped. Those two are gems. Both are fun and conversational. I enjoyed my evening with them.

I’m so lucky to have friends like them!!

I’m planning to stay off my feet today. Last night I stood up quickly and my foot was asleep. Immediately I heard a crack and had pain. I feared I’d broken something. Today my ankle is sore, but it isn’t as bad as I’d feared. I am babying it and hope that it’ll be ok in a day or two.

I went to the South Club Pool for a couple hours. After having lunch from the grill, I got in the pool and soaked. I ended up in the hot tub for a while. I noticed the ankle had swollen more so I went back home and wrapped it with an Ace bandage. I have my foot up and I’m taking it easy.

I took an invitation to John’s Celebration of Life to the KP Sportsman’s Club today (inviting any interested) and was surprised at how warmly I was received.

John was a charter member. It somehow didn’t seem right to have his name removed from the membership list so I joined. I don’t know how often I’ll attend but I’d like to go to the race track with the club. That was always so much fun and the food was super. I hate to think of driving that far, but maybe I can find someone who I could ride with.

I sat with some nice folks and maybe there are others who will “take me in.”

Before the Sportsman’s Club meeting, I attended a meeting for Nantucket V to plan the Christmas party.

Moving all the lanai furniture and sweeping it every day or two is already old. I discovered that my Roomba works great out there. Sure there are places that aren’t swept as good as you’d get from a broom, but the iRobot device works better than nothing, and I don’t have to do it. I just take it out there and turn it on. Same is true of the patio. I feared it would fall off the patio, but it senses the edge and turns around.

==============

A thump on the lanai alarmed me. As it turned out, it was my new white shaggy area rug being delivered (a day earlier than they’d said).

Finally something is perfect! The shag is longer that I’d thought but it closely resembles the rug John had picked out at Kanes. Obviously we didn’t get back to buy the one in Brandon but now that I have a similar one I can see what his vision was. Love it.

And the favorable comments about the back splash have changed my mind about it. I’m now really satisfied. In fact, I’m pleased with everything.

This week is fairly busy. Tomorrow morning I hope to go to Sit and Get Fit and stop by the Michigan Club table. In the afternoon I want to go to the Orchid Club meeting. Tomorrow night I’ll stop at karaoke and have Taco Tuesday for dinner. Wednesday I have a conflict of activities. I was planning to go to the 3:00 Sportsman’s Club meeting and invite any of John’s fellow members to the celebration of his life but I have a Nantucket V Activities Committee Meeting at 2:00 Hopefully I can leave in time to stop at the other meeting. Thursday I may go to Sit and Get Fit again and my friend Evie arrives for the winter months. Friday I plan to meet her at the pool.

So many times I’ve made decorating mistakes. Not everything is wrong, but too often, things aren’t exactly as I’d hoped.

I had what I thought would be a very stylish stainless back splash installed this morning. Unfortunately wherever the 12 x 12 sheets meet up, it is noticeable. I think I’ll get used to it, but right now it’s distracting.

Tomorrow the off-white rug will arrive. I’m fairly certain it will be a success.

I have been busy getting my condo in order.

Yesterday my red chair and the bright pattered rug arrived. The rug is really attractive but doesn’t work in this room at all. My plan had been to put it under the coffee table but the background is too gray to look good on the floor. The featured color is an orange-y red. The chair and my pillows clash with it completely because they are a rosy red. Thank heavens I only paid about $60 for the rug. I’ll try to sell it.

I’ve ordered a shaggy off-white rug to go under the table. That’s what John wanted, and he was right. It’ll set the chair off beautifully. It should be here early next week. It’ll look a lot more elegant. I thought the bright rug would be fun, but it doesn’t work at all!! I got the off-white one on sale for a real bargain price. It was discounted about 75%.

Right now I’m waiting for an installer to come by to give me an estimate on the installation of a back-splash for the kitchen. It depends on how much he wants to charge and how many tiles it’ll take. I have a mental limit in mind.

It looks like having the brick pavers installed on the driveway and sidewalk will continue to wait awhile. I want to finish the inside before I do anything expensive like that. I still need to pay for the roof over the patio. That should happen next month.

I had almost forgotten to turn in the trip insurance for the flight I’d bought for John. We were supposed to fly from Michigan to Florida on October 9th. Maybe it’ll even pay more than the ticket price, but I doubt it. I sent the forms out today.

And I am surprised that my home owners’ insurance is going to pay a small percent of the value of my jewelry that was stolen the day I got here from Michigan. I planned to buy myself a replacement chain or ring, but I think I’ll put the $$$ toward some of the improvements.

I could have gone to a singles dance last night but it was rainy night and I didn’t feel like going out. Besides it’s too soon go to a social outing where folks are trying to meet up. This afternoon there’s a singles travel club but I don’t want to travel so I’m skipping it.

I am looking forward to an improvement in the weather. It’s supposed to clear up and be less humid toward the weekend. I want to clean the lanai and set it up with the cushions for the lanai chairs, and wash the big slider window. Yup, I have lots to do and I want to get to the pool.

Every morning I get up and I make my bed. With the new, fancy bedspread. I take my time and when it looks close to perfect, I leave the bedroom in my robe. In the great room, I say, “Good Morning, Alexa.” She always replies with a phrase that gives me information on the day. (Maybe it’s “National Pizza Day” or “Techie Day” or some other assignment.) As I go to the kitchen, I sometimes ask her for the weather, or the news.

I then often ask her to play Willie Nelson’s “Something You Get Through”. I listen and sing along while I make my coffee. (If you click on the blue link, you can see the video and read the lyrics.)

My morning continues with a couple cups of coffee, a review of my calendar so I’ll know my schedule, and a review of my finances. (For years, I have updated my income and expenses every day so I know where I stand.)

Today I have a couple things on my calendar. At 10:00 am I need to take my car in to be serviced. I want the oil and tires checked. I am sure everything mechanical is fine, but I want it checked to be sure.

From there, I am going to the Moose Lodge in Ruskin. My brother sent me a license plate from the Moose Lodge on Drummond Island. Lodges hang them to show where their guest come from. I’m hoping that’s the practice at this lodge.

I’ll probably head back home. At 4:00 the big Kings Point Garage Sale will start. It’s just for residents from 4:00-6:00. Tomorrow morning it’ll open for the general public.

I have no plans for the rest of the weekend. Maybe church Sunday. Maybe the pool.

I’m still waiting to be assigned to a team so I’ll know when I work for the Emergency Squad.

I’m also going to be volunteering to work at the Hospice House. I’m hoping that I can be there for others to provide advice for handling the loss of a loved one.

It’s been a HOT spell. In fact the other day was the hottest day in October on record. But the past few mornings it’s been a tiny bit cooler with temps in the low 70’s when I’ve awakened, and it has been in the 80’s to the low 90’s most of the day.

When Ron’s Cleaning guy looked over my house to do his estimate of cost I was embarrassed. He found lots of dirt. I thought it looked pretty good but he found plenty of places I’d missed. He even crawled up on my counters so he could look behind the crown molding. I’ve never been up there, nor do I regularly wipe down the tops of high pictures, fan blades, and other places that are out of my line of sight. He’s coming back tomorrow (Saturday) to do the “deep cleaning.” It will cost me three times the $75 he charges for a regular cleaning. I wonder how long it’ll take him to purge the dust.

The Conklins took me with them when they went shopping for living room furniture yesterday.

I ended up finding an over-sized red chair (very comfortable) to replace the rose love seat that I hate and a colorful rug for under the coffee table. It’s going to be a whole new look for the great room. The chair and rug won’t be here for a couple weeks, but at least I know it’s coming.

My new bedspread came this morning and I love the total look. (See the photo.)

You can also see the new carpet. I am satisfied.

No more shopping for awhile! I haven’t submitted the pavers project yet, but want that done. It’s all added up to a big price tag.

I didn’t really plan to buy the chair, but I got a great deal. We were at the Rooms to Go outlet store. Prices were really reasonable. The rug, as an example, was about 1/2 price.

Tomorrow a cleaning guy that Irene uses (Ron) is coming to talk to me and give me a price for cleaning the condo on a regular basis. I think every two weeks would work great. I’m actually keeping it up pretty good by myself, but there are a lot of places I miss and a house cleaner would get them.

Friday at 5 p.m. I plan to go to the South Club to join a group of single ladies. I really need more friends. I need to find a new group to be part of.

This afternoon, I went to  birthday party for friends, Deb and Linda. Shelly, who had been one of the hostesses gave each of us an envelope with a half mask in it.  The masks clipped to our noses and totally changed our look.

Here’s a photo of the “masked” ladies.

I’m in the middle row, right end with the burgundy top and white shorts.  We had a choice of “sides.”  The other side of mine was a bearded man, but this one drew more comments.

If you know me well, you know that, as I’ve gotten older, I no longer like to drive.

It didn’t help that four years ago, I shattered my right wrist and was told that I couldn’t drive until it was fully healed.  Gradually I resumed driving, but it was very weak and it hurt after gripping the wheel.  After two years, I had the 16 plates and screws removed because they conducted cold and heat and made it difficult to do things like washing my hands or dishes, and going the pool was totally impossible.

After the titanium pieces were removed, my wrist was weak (honey combed, they called it).  Again for several months, driving was impossible.  I got out of the habit. John always did the driving so no problem.

But this past year starting about November, 2017, I ended up having to do all the driving for John and me. He was too weak and he voluntarily turned it all over to me.

I hated being behind the wheel, but I knew there was no choice, so I drove.  Probably on average, I drove to Tampa two or three times a week.  I got more comfortable but never really enjoyed driving.

Now I’m here in Florida and enjoy riding in my golf cart, but there are times when going by cart isn’t possible.  I’ve lost my confidence completely so I’ve been avoiding the car.  But recently I’ve decided to turn over a new leaf. I want to re-gain that freedom.

Yesterday I drove to Riverview (Sam’s Club).  I white-knuckled it all the way but I felt a sense of accomplishment.  Today I drove to my new volunteer position with the Emergency Squad, filled the car up with gas and went to the grocery store.  I have promised myself that I’ll use the car a couple times a week.  Afterall, when Kelly comes to visit, I want to take her to Busch Gardens and show her a good time.  It’ll take venturing out regularly in order to become confident. 

Tuesday, Thursday or Friday of this week, I’d like to drive to Busch Gardens where I can straighten out my season admission and collect a free a lunch. (An offer that’s only good in September.) If I miss it, I am only out $10 and I also need to “practice” my driving.

The new carpet looks ok.  Not as grand as I’d hoped, but very nice.

The need for a lovely long bedspread became really apparent.  I compared the color swatches of all the bedspreads I could find on line to determine the best color.  A red-burgundy seemed the best with the neutral tan tones in the carpet.  I found one on Bed Bath and Beyond for a very low price that had really high ratings.  It’s 120″ x 120″ which is long enough to go to the floor so there’s no need for a dust ruffle and the mattress won’t show.  It was a great price so if it isn’t perfect, I can eventually replace it. I hate spending so much you feel you must use it forever.

John Moore Floor Covering should be here this afternoon to install my new master bedroom carpet.  I wish I could have purchased a lovely high-end bedspread to complete the room today, but unfortunately I can’t remember exactly what color I ordered.  I can see it in my mind, but not clearly enough to match it.

It seems like it’s a deep neutral tan with some undertones. I’m just not sure what would look best. I’ll soon know and can order the best one for the room.

I am loving Alexa (my Echo device) more and more. I ask her to “tell me a story” or “chat” and what she does gives me the feeling that she’s talking to me.

It took me a while to figure out how to get her to control the two light plugs I’d purchased. I could get one to work, but not the second. I stuck with it and before I went to bed last night, I had it working. I can now call out from my bed, “Alexa, turn on my light (or John’s light) and she’ll either switch on the lamp next to my chair in the great room, or she’ll turn on the light on John’s side of the bed. Turning it off is just as simple.

Alexa’s jokes are really bad. (Truly clean, but really bad!!)

My week is tightly scheduled. Unfortunately UPS didn’t deliver my new Verizon house phone as they’d said they would. It wouldn’t matter except that I won’t be home much tomorrow (Tuesday) and the package requires a signature.

I would have planned my week differently, had I known that I would have to be home to sign for the delivery on Tuesday.

I guess I’ll just try to be here as much as possible. I don’t have to leave my condo until about 10:40 for my hair appointment.  It’s scheduled from 11:00 a.m.-1:00 and can’t be changed, but I’ll try to dash back home immediately afterward. I don’t have to go to the Orchid Club meeting at 2:00.

When I’m ready to leave, I’ll put a note on the door saying that I can be back home a little after 1:00 and I’ll expect delivery then. Let’s hope they’ll understand.

========

As it turned out I rushed home from my hair appointment by about 1:05 and the UPS driver followed me in my driveway. It took me a good share of the afternoon to set up the phone.

My golf cart was delivered an hour or so later so it was a busy day. It rained most of the rest of the day, so I didn’t get to drive the cart at all.

That was Tuesday. Wednesday I test drove the cart all over. LOVE IT!!

Today is Thursday and Irene, my Tai Chi instructor, is stopping over for a visit.

Friday afternoon (tomorrow) my master bedroom carpet will be installed. I’ll have to get up fairly early, strip the bed, and move any small stuff out of the room so the installers can easily move the furniture and break-down the bed.

I wish I could have purchased a luxury bedspread, but I don’t know what exactly color would work. I want to get the perfect bedspread so it’ll be better to wait until I see the carpet in place.

=======

My visit with Irene this afternoon went nicely.  She’s a smart lady who has found several activities and events for widows.  She said she’ll include me.  Hope so!!

We had a couple glasses of wine, some cheese and crackers, and we talked for about three hours.  Very enjoyable.

Monday was swamped.

Started the day with a two-hour visit to the pool. The heat, humidity, and love-bugs sorta chased me home.

After lunch, Sharon Nead stopped over for a couple hours. She’s an easy guest. We chatted freely. Very enjoyable.

Tonight I’m waiting for UPS to come by with my new Verizon house phone. If it doesn’t come today, as it’s supposed to, there’ll be a problem since I have to sign for it and tomorrow my day is swamped: estimate for the brick pavers at 8:45, hair appointment at 11:00 and Orchid Club meeting at 2:00.

Hope it works out.

I’m anxious for my new 2019 golf cart to be delivered Wednesday and Friday my master bedroom carpet should be installed.

On Thursday, my friend Irene, is stopping over.

Lots going on and I’m glad!!

It’s hard to get used to the idea that my time here isn’t going to be broken up with trips north. I’m here to stay and won’t be leaving as I have for the past ten years to go back to Michigan for the summer months.

My Echo device, Alexa, is working out quite well. She greets me each morning with the weather and what’s on my calendar for that day, and she says “good night,”

I’ve ordered a couple electric plugs which will work when I speak to her. I’ll plug in the living room light so I can just say “Alexa, turn on my lamp.” Or in the bedroom, “Alexa, turn on my bedroom lamp.” It’ll be helpful.

Today I should get my “house phone” from Verizon. John’s cell number will be assigned to that phone so folks who see our Sun City phone book listing will get to me.

In fact, this week will be rather busy. Monday, I plan to go to pool in a.m., Sharon Nead said she’ll be stopping by, and the phone box is being delivered. Tuesday, paver company will give me an estimate for my driveway and sidewalk, hair appointment, and Orchid Club meeting. Wednesday my new golf cart should be delivered. Thursday a friend, Irene, is stopping by. Friday my bedroom carpet is being installed. Saturday, back at the pool. Sunday morning I volunteer at the Emergency Squad.

Spending so much time alone makes it difficult to avoid talking to myself. I have found a couple solutions.

I bought an i-Robot Roomba vacuum. When it’s running it feels like someone is in the house with me. When it goes in the other room and I realize I haven’t seen it for awhile, I’ll call out, “Where are you?” No, it doesn’t answer, but it seems appropriate to ask.

Today I bought an Echo by Amazon also known as Alexa. She answers questions, gives you the weather, gives you recipes, and even plays games. She can be a pretty good companion. I’ll learn more as I explore her abilities.

I’ve asked Alexa to save lists for me: a to-do list and a grocery list. Unfortunately she doesn’t always get it right, but maybe she’ll learn.

At least I get marks for creativity.

I’ve been making an effort to get to the pool every possible day for a few hours. Today it was overcast and the lovebugs were plentiful so I only stayed a couple hours. The bugs make it miserable. For that reason I might stay away until the lovebugs have died off. Usually they only last a couple weeks.

Tomorrow I’ve invited a neighbor, Terre to stop over for a little wine and conversation. Back on April 1, 2010, we attended a neighborhood gathering and met her and her husband, Norm. You can read my post about that evening here: https://sharons-blog.com/?p=3023

They live in our “association” on the next court. I’ve always wanted to get to know her better. She’s funny, smart and interesting. I’m looking forward to her visit.

A few things have happened worth mentioning.

A couple months ago, I bought four new stools for my bar. When I received them, I immediately saw that one of the bases was dented (and now I see that a second one also has a similar imperfection.) I contacted the seller who sold through Amazon and asked for a new base. I’ve communicated with the seller repeatedly but they kept stalling. Two days ago they sent me a message saying my time for a claim had run out and they wouldn’t be doing anything.

I contacted Amazon and today Amazon sent me a notice that I’ll be receiving a full refund for all stools. That’s not what I wanted. I had suggested that I should receive 1/4 of the purchase price but they are refunding 100%.

I think Amazon is teaching the seller that the customer who has a problem should have that problem resolved. I feel like I got too much, but I guess there’s nothing I can do. Amazon is punishing a poor seller.

Today I also received a partial month’s pension from the U.S. Government for the days John was alive in May.

I’ve decided that I need to keep some cash here in the house for an emergency. (Let’s say there is a hurricane and all the banks are closed for a period of time. I need to have some cash reserves.) I’ll save part of that final pension and make sure I never touch it but it’ll be there if I need it.

I wish I could rent a safety deposit box but my bank doesn’t have any available. I may buy a small wall safe and have it installed. I have some bonds and now this cash that I want to keep safe. I’ll see.

My plumber came by today to fix my faucet and replace a flapper in the master bathroom toilet. He also helped me with my iRobot by Roomba.

Yesterday I received the robotic floor cleaner I’d purchased from HSN. It does a good job, but it’s kinda like having a toddler in the house. If it goes in the other room, and it’s quiet, you worry about what it’s into. I’ve learned my floor length drapes need to be up out of reach. The dining room was just a bunch of bumps and racket so after it cleaned that room I blocked it from entering again.

I couldn’t figure out how to dump the dirt. My plumber guy, Ivan, did it for me even if it wasn’t in his job description.

This evening I went to the South Club and sat with some friends and enjoyed tacos for Taco Tuesday. I was home before 6:30.

John and I were married on Tuesday, September 10th, 1985. Today would have been our 33rd anniversary and he’d have asked me with a smile, as he always did on our anniversaries, “Has it been long enough yet?”

And I’d always respond with a negative shake of my head and a warm kiss.

John was the best husband I could ever have wished for.

On May 12th, 2018, he passed away. Our marriage wasn’t nearly long enough for me. But he deserved to have it end with dignity and that’s how it did conclude. He died where he wanted to be, at our Michigan home. It was swiftly over and I believe for him it was pain-free. He had a peaceful look on his face.

Folks have said that September 10, would be a sad day for me (our 33rd anniversary) but I look at it differently. I will do a mental review of the wonderful memories we shared.

We shared a lot of wonderful times. I don’t know of a closer couple. I’ll think about our success as co-leaders of lots of music activities, our lovely homes, our great families, our trips (vacations and travel), our fun times. I’ll try to review it all. I’ll think about how we talked about the end of his life. He wasn’t fearful, even though he knew the end was near. He gave me instructions which I’ve tried to follow.

He made those years great for me and I’m grateful. He knew after his passing, I’d end up here in Florida where life would be easy for me. I know it’s what he felt would work best.

Together we worked hard to build a nest egg so he left me with no financial worries. I can live out the rest of my life in comfort.

I hope our Florida friends will join us for a celebration of his life in the Waterside Room at the Kings Point North Clubhouse, November 7th, at 1:00 p.m. A light lunch will follow the review of his life.

Life with John was great. I feel I was blessed!

I look at it this way: I am poorer for his death, but far, far richer for his life.

The Conklins left Friday and I now have my place to myself again. It’s going to take a while to feel like there aren’t others in the house.

The Conklins are “easy house guests.” Linda did a lot of the cooking. They turned in early and got up about the same time as me. They’re quiet, helpful, and good friends. I enjoyed their company!

That being said, I don’t mind being alone at all. I’m very comfortable here by myself.

There isn’t much ahead on my calendar. Yes, Kelly is coming for a two week visit next month arriving October 30th. In a couple weeks I’ll start volunteering at the Sun City Center Emergency Squad every eight days for half a day (mornings). I have a monthly orchid grower club meetings on the third Tuesday of the month and the Michigan Club Tuesday ticket sales will start on Tuesday mornings (beginning Sept. 25th). If they need help I’ve said I’d be glad to be there.

I have some things I’d like to do to make the place more comfortable: deep clean every room, move some items from garage to new storage cabinets, scrub the lanai floors and furniture so I can move the cushions to the lanai chairs.

Looking at the driveway, I realize I need to do something to make it look better. It either needs to be power washed, or better yet, have pavers put down. I need to at least get an estimate for the bricks (pavers) on the drive and the sidewalk. It won’t be cheap and I’ve vowed to watch my expenditures but it would be a waste to just have it power-washed because that only lasts a few months before the black mold is all back and you have to do it again. And when you have it power washed repeatedly, the surface layer erodes. It’s already pretty bad.

Without John watching over my spending, I’ve gone through quite a bit of money on several big ticket items and projects.

First, I bought a computer because mine died a couple days after I lost John. (Hard drive had failed.) I went for the best laptop I could find (a Surface Pro) with 2 TB memory. It’s a real work-horse and I am glad I got it.

I had to spend a lot of money on improvements to the Michigan house. New air conditioner was the most expensive, but I also spent money on plumbers and septic workers. Those weren’t things I wanted but were necessary to sell the house.

After arriving here at my condo, I had storage cabinets built in the area off the kitchen. (Love the way it turned out and John would approve.)

I bought a large file cabinet and put it in the master bedroom beside the bed (in place of the bedside table), got a new bedroom lamp to set on it, purchased a new 4 TB back up drive (when my old one quit working), and bought four new bar stools. (I consider those sensible purchases.)

There was one luxury item I bought, a reasonably priced (under $200) 14kt gold chain to replace the two that were stolen from me by the furniture movers. Now I’m sorry that I bought it. When it came, it wasn’t as impressive as it had looked on line. It’s ok, but not great.

I also ordered a new golf cart when mine died. It should be coming within the next week or two. The cart will provide security because the other kept quitting on me and I was afraid I’d end up stranded a distance from home.

I’ve also ordered new master bedroom carpet to replace the original off-white builders’ grade and have started the procedure for adding a roof over my back patio.

I’m not through but some stuff will wait. I hope to have pavers installed on the driveway and if I can find a loveseat (or two) that will look good in my great room, I’ll definitely buy it/them.

Eventually I want to get a Murphy bed for my guest room so I’ll have more space for music stuff.

The garage floor needs work. There’s a big noticeable crack which could be filled then covered with a poured coating. It would be easier to keep clean. (Actually first the whole garage needs a good purging.)

– UPDATE –

Today I bought the newest Samsung phone, the Galaxy Note 9 with a terabyte of storage. It’ll have a better camera, longer battery life, better sound, better stylus, and other features. It won’t be here until October 12th.

When talking with the Verizon customer representative I mentioned that I have John’s phone set to forward to mine so none of his calls will get lost. I was thinking about buying a cheap phone to replace his since I can’t find the one he used. After talking with her, I purchased a land line box which will plug in to electricity, and I’ll be able to have John’s 813-727-0007 calls come in to that line. It will ring as a “house phone.” I can place calls either on it or from my new Note 9. The phone box is also on back order.

I must be frugal. No more shopping for a while! I’m shocked by how much I’ve spent, but my life will be more comfortable because I’ve purchased these items/services.

With the Conklins here, my life has been very different. I’m enjoying their company.

Unfortunately Wayne has been ill. (Hope I don’t catch it!) He was in bed most of yesterday so Linda and I went bargain shopping.

It’s been VERY hot but the threat of thunderstorms has kept us from the pool. Today things are looking up weather-wise, so we will probably head over there this morning and stay a good share of the day.

We have had rain nearly every day that I’ve been here. (It’s been since July 23rd).

Our friends, Linda and Wayne Conklin, who moved to Mexico a year or two ago, have decided to return to Kings Point. They are flying in this afternoon so they can look for a condo. They’ll be staying here with me. I have a few things to do before they arrive.

Yesterday I went to a grief support group meeting at the Methodist Church. I didn’t get too much out of it, but I figure I should give the folks a chance again next month.

Before I went to the meeting I dropped off some paperwork requested by John’s heart group doctors. There was an elderly lady with a walker near the door. I asked her if she was waiting for someone and she answered yes but she was concerned they weren’t coming. I asked her if I could give her a ride somewhere.

It took a while and a lot of struggling to get her walker fastened on the cart. But eventually I got her in the cart and away we went. She was so sweet!

Name is Elizabeth Purdy. Her home was about three from the place where my Mom and Dad lived when Dad died in 1986. When I first saw her, I had 45 minutes to kill but I arrived at the meeting with only minutes to spare. I was hot and worn out but it was worth it to help this lady and make a new friend.

I received the wire transferred funds about 4:30 this afternoon on the sale of our Michigan home. I can relax. The house is sold. It’s no longer my responsibility.

Joni and June (the two ladies I met Tuesday) met me in the south club at 6:00 for dinner. We had the best fish I’ve had in Florida. I really enjoyed it.

We talked and talked. I was a pleasant time. They followed me home to help me with my carpet selection. We all agreed that the sample I was leaning toward is the best for the room. I will take the carpet samples back tomorrow and place the order. Since it’s coming from California, it may take a couple weeks.

John was a wonderful husband and his thriftiness allowed us to build a nest egg. Our savings will provide me with what I need for the rest of my life. I just wish he would have relaxed and enjoyed the fruits of his labors. I know he enjoyed being thrifty. It was his way. When shopping, he’d drive around town to get the best bargains. I never challenged him because he felt good about it. Some people have fun collecting stamps, coins, or books. John got his pleasure from feeling he’d gotten a bargain. I don’t think he’d purchased a “new piece of clothing” for himself in a dozen years.

He always said he wanted to blow all of our funds and leave this earth spending the last penny. He was still in the saving stage and hadn’t started the spending phase.

But now I’m alone and I’m going to buy what will make life comfortable.

The only remaining big ticket items for a while will be the golf cart purchase (when it comes in), and the bedroom carpet. Sure I may spend a few $$s here and there. I would like a bedspread and bed skirt once the carpet is in.

The ladies today mentioned a new furniture store being built. Maybe I can find the loveseat I want.

Yesterday at about 4:30 I was notified that the closing on my Michigan home had taken place. I had to quickly call the power and water companies to end my responsibility for those two expenses. (The township handles the water and unfortunately they need a written shut off notice. They will send the form to me so it’ll take a week or more.) I also contacted my Michigan insurance company to end the insurance coverage. It’s now the new owner’s responsibility.

Vicki, my realtor said they’ll be wiring transferring the funds to my Ameriprise immediately, but it hasn’t happened yet (and it’s the next morning). But sounds like the closing was late.

After realizing I no longer have to worry about the house, I decided to celebrate. I got on my golf cart and headed to the South Club. I tried to find friends, but I didn’t see anyone I knew. (Although later I ran across a few folks.)

Two friendly looking ladies were at the bar and obviously comfortable. I approached them and asked if they would mind me joining them.

As it turned out, they are also widows (Sharon and Shirley). Shirley lives at Aston Gardens but Sharon is in a closeby Kings Point association. They are a little older than I am but close enough! I enjoyed a glass of wine while they ate their dinner and then I headed home.

While at the South Club, I received a text from Joni, one of the ladies I met Tuesday when I came to the Club for Taco Tuesday and karaoke. Joni and her friend, June, invited me to join them for fish tonight at the Clubhouse. I’m glad I’m making new (single) lady friends.

Yesterday was my one-month anniversary of my arrival at the condo. I’ve accomplished a lot.

I am trying to pick out carpet for the bedroom, but I’m unsure. I’m leaning toward a sculptured carpet with a palm design. I’m unsure if I want to go with very light (which may look like what’s in there now.) Maybe a slightly different color will accent that it’s different. I will have to study it a bit more.

I am trying to get a lot of stuff done that we’d put aside while John was ill.

I made a list of “projects” that would be nice to accomplish. They might never be completed, but it’s nice to look forward to them.

Soon

I’m already working on replacing the bedroom carpet. In fact, if it isn’t raining this afternoon, I plan to go down to the carpet store and pick it out. The present carpet was installed when the condo was built. It’s shabby.

The garage needs to be purged and then I’d like to have an easy to clean surface on the floor. There’s a bad crack which could be filled and covered.

Within a year

The above list is stuff John and I talked about but didn’t get around to doing. The landscape project would replace the front bush with a 3-tree palm group. John would keep that bush trimmed, but I’m too short to do it.

Later:

These are things John wouldn’t have considered important but for various reasons, I now feel I’d like to do them.

My bedroom furniture is old and definitely not my style.

I had a strange dream last night. I was talking to John on the phone. He was at our Michigan home. We were just chatting about trivial stuff.

Then he said something about John and I asked what he had said and he said “John died.”

I said, “What John? John’s my husband. You’re John.”

And he repeated, “John’s dead.”

I remember feeling confused. It was definitely John talking.

Strange.

Since I have an appointment Wednesday to have the master bedroom measured for carpet, I invited my handyman (Phil) to come over and fix my headboard. It was poorly installed by my “movers.” They didn’t anchor the headboard at all and instead just wedged it between the frame and the wall. Every time I turned over in bed the headboard rattled against the wall. I finally used an old pair of John’s heavy soxs to keep it from moving. (Couldn’t help but think that the headboard would wake up the neighbors, if it instead of a 76 year old widowed lady (me), it was a a sexually active couple in this condo.)

Phil fixed it and fixed a storage room door that wasn’t closing correctly.

Yesterday I bought a used Shark steamer mop ($20) to replace one that we had that had quit working. This one is much better. Finally my tile floors are looking pretty good. I also ordered a new batteries for my carpet sweeper. It makes keeping the kitchen lots easier and now that it’s working I feel I can handle get it in great shape.

I still need to get the lanai cleaned and the furniture in place but the every day rain has halted my progress there. Yes, every single day since I got here on the 23rd it’s rained and that has put the lanai on hold. I can’t see moving the clean furniture out there to get dirty, especially since it’s too hot to use it. I am realizing that every summer, I’ll probably pack away the cushions before the rainy season starts. I had no idea that EVERY SINGLE DAY it rains here. It’s thundering right now and every day the rest of week there’s to be more of the same… 90+ and several inches of rain.

I would still love to get a pet. I have been looking on the rescue websites but none are the kind John would have approved of. I would buy one from a good breeder, if I knew of one nearby. Tampa isn’t that far away and I found one in Sarasota. I understand that Kelly has developed allergies to a cat so it needs to be a small (really tiny) dog. I wouldn’t mind one of those designer dogs a moorgie-poo or whatever they’re called.

Evie came over today and we had a pleasant visit for a couple hours.

We talked about my “projects,” which I have prioritized.

At the top of the list, I realize I need to do something about the bedroom carpet. It’s just too gross to live with. At first I thought about ceramic tiles that look like wood in the great room, dining room, and master bedroom, but I have decided that’s too much of a project for now. I think I’ll just go the cheap route and replace the bedroom carpet. It’ll be under $800 or so but that’s lots cheaper than the bigger idea which I’m not sure of yet.

I find I sometimes rush into an idea and then I’m sorry. I’m trying to think things out. No more rushing into major purchases that I can’t reverse.

As an example, the original tile: It just isn’t what we really wanted. I think polished white marble would be lovely. Maybe, but I’m not sure, the wood grain tile would be ok, but white marble would be more dramatic.

I need to watch my money. I’m going to spend carefully. A 13 x 13 foot bedroom can be carpeted reasonably. The guys to measure will come next Wednesday.

I guess I thought that when I got down here, friends would come rushing over.

It hasn’t happened. I did enjoy the company of friends at the Baby Boomers dance the other night, and friend Richard has been loyal, but my female friends have stayed away. True, there aren’t many here.

I guess I’ll have to take the first step. Now that everything’s been put away, I need to clean and then I’ll invite small groups over for lunch or a glass of wine. Maybe neighbors, maybe friends from our social group, maybe dance friends.

I really need to deep clean first. Yesterday I noticed a corner going into the bedroom which had about an inch of dust/dirt. I can’t have folks visit until it’s polished. And the lanai hasn’t even been swept not to mention I need to move my lanai furniture from the garage. I’d hire a power wash guy to do the lanai but since it rains hard nearly every day, I need to wait until the rains have passed, and I sure don’t want my furniture with the cushions getting soaked every day.

I did go to lunch with Evie yesterday. (She’s here but only for a week because her daughter isn’t doing well.)

I finally tackled John’s closet. I FILLED my car. Boy, did he ever have a bunch of shirts! Of course there were also a couple suits, some sport coats, shorts, swim suits, and lots of shoes. He had a lot more than I thought.

Once I have the closet cleaned out, I’ll start re-locating my clothes there. It’ll be different to have my clothes close-by when I get up. (I’ve always used the guest room.) I’m trying to organize my thinking. A few things will stay in the guest room but it’ll be considerably different and easier when guests visit.

I’m simplifying a lot.

Of course the storage area has made it less cluttered. And my bedroom really looks different. There’s now an office area and the old bedside lamps have been replaced with some that are more fashionable. John’s bedside table is gone. The curtains need to be changed out but for now I’m not worried about them. I also need to replace the carpet but first I need to decide if I want the wood look, or carpet.

I haven’t touched the dirty lanai. I need to at least sweep it, but everyday it rains and that will mess it up again.

On another note, I’m putting off calling the caterer for John’s memorial service until I can exchange ideas with someone else. My friend Evie gets here this afternoon so I can bounce off her.

The caterer would charge $9 a plate (plus a tip) for croissant sandwiches, a salad, and brownies. The number of guests would need to be firm because I’d pay for whatever I ordered (no more, no fewer). I’d rather have it self-serve buffet style because I have no idea how many would attend. Maybe I could do it like Paul does his Christmas party. He buys chicken from Wynn Dixie, meatballs from Sam’s, gets frozen shrimp. I’m sure doing it like that would be less than $9 a plate and adjusting the number of attendees would be easier.

Went to a Baby Boomers party last night but it sure isn’t the same when you’re solo. Even when we didn’t dance, with John it was always fun and interactive. Last night I talked with Richard Brooks, who sat beside me, and Ron Ringenback. Linda R. did invite me to set with them, but others didn’t stop by at all. (I went over and talked to Marilyn.) I think the others felt awkward, but hopefully in time that will pass.

I had two invitations to dance but my toe wasn’t ready. Immediately after dinner, I was ready to leave. I got home before 7:00.

Dinner wasn’t great. I’m glad I went because I was auditioning the caterer for John’s memorial service and they failed.

Gradually I’m making progress. My to do list is shrinking.

I left the condo about 9:15 this morning and got back about 2:45.

It was a day I’d dreaded but I knew was necessary. The Michigan based insurance on my Florida car (which we’d left in the garage when we went north in May) was scheduled to end today and my Florida insurance was to start-up. But in order for the Florida insurance to “kick in” I had to have the car titled in Florida and John’s name removed from the title.

I thought I knew where to go but the licensing bureau had moved. I finally found the complex. In one building, I applied for Florida homesteading and a widows’ exemption from my real estate. I had to have the property title revised (minus John’s name). The tax benefits will cut my taxes by about half. (The process required going to two different desks, but it was fairly smooth and I was probably out of their by about 10:30.)

Then I had move my car and to go to the another building in the same complex and get my plates and car title revised. (Even worse than Michigan, the SOS office required that you take a number and wait and wait and wait.) I finally got to see an agent about 12:30. She completed the paperwork and I was able to pay for and get my Florida plates.

From there I went to Denny’s Restaurant for lunch and then to my bank to straighten out my credit cards and banking accounts which I thought I’d done on line but still showed 48609 (Michigan) as my zip code.

After that I stopped at a grocery store and picked up a few veggies, a bottle of wine, and a loaf of bread and got home a short while ago. Five and a half hours used up! Good thing I cancelled my cleaning lady appointment for today.

The shiny new plates with the big orange on them are now on my car and I’m legal until March 2020!

BTW that was the first time my car had left the garage and I’ve been here for TWO WEEKS.

Tomorrow a guy is coming by to pick up some stuff I’m donating to a thrift store. I’m sure this is just the “first load.”

Since I’ve been here, it’s rained EVERY day and it’s been over 90 degrees. Finally today there’s a blue sky and no rain. I haven’t been out so I don’t know how humid it is, but I imagine it’s pretty sticky.

At 2:00 the guy from Ray’s will come over and pick up my golf cart. I really want one that’s reliable and this one isn’t. The owner is so honorable that he has tried to explain that I’ll take a beating when I trade it in. That doesn’t matter to me. I need to be able to trust my transportation. It’s nice to find a business person who is looking out for his customers.

The condo is gradually looking better. I need tackle John’s dresser and and closet. Once I’ve cleaned them out, I will have more room for the clothes I brought from Michigan. I need to figure out how to get organized. I need a plan so I will immediately know where things are stored. The guy I want to have construct a storage area will be coming over tomorrow. He’ll also put the file cabinet together for me.

I know I need a file cabinet but I haven’t figured out where to put it. Probably either my bedroom or maybe the dining room. It’s going to be heavy so moving it around isn’t going to be easy.

Today I planned to get a new golf cart asap but my old one wouldn’t start and it’ll be tomorrow afternoon before Ray’s Golf Cart Shop can come after mine and haul it to their store.

While it rained some more, I tried to unpack another bin. Unfortunately unpacking requires walking back and forth to put stuff away and now my sore toe is worse. I need to put it up and let it rest.

I’ve been in my Florida condo since last Monday. Several things have happened:

Monday the moving van with my Michigan items came about an hour after I got here. (And I think one of the movers stole my ring and other pieces of jewelry.)

I purchased four new bar stools Thursday (which haven’t arrived yet) and a wood file cabinet (but now I don’t know where to put it).

Went to a Newcomb Court potluck gathering (Thursday).

Thursday I bought a water softener after the other one created a block in the water line and caused the water pressure to drop. (It’ll be delivered later this week.)

I broke a toe Friday night and it’s really limited my mobility.

I went to a pool party Saturday. It was really hot that day and my foot hurt but I’m glad I went.

I had a guy come and look at the coffee table which I brought from Michigan and decided it needs refinishing. He’ll let me know when he has time to come after it.

It’s rained heavily nearly every day since I got here. (Rumbling sounds right now.)

My golf cart died yesterday and will be picked up tomorrow. Hopefully I can trade it in for one that’s reliable.

Yesterday I visited with Rick, my financial guy who reported that I’m in good shape financially. (Thanks to John’s frugal attitude.)