I hate all the work that’s staring me in the face. I have barely put a dent in it and time’s running out.

Today my sister-in-law Barb and her guy (Norm) are coming over to pick-up the upright bass. I need to ask them if they can transport the handmade wheels which are being used as decoration in front of our house for brothers Robert and David.

I hope the great room is done when they get here. I’ll relocate all the stuff to be shipped by the mover to the hot tub room. (I now call it the staging area). At least it’ll look better and be easier to clean around. Next the dining room will need to be finished. Master bedroom is messy but once the bins which are to be shipped go to the staging area it’ll be better.

Tomorrow I’ll go to my lawyer’s office. I’ll also drop off John’s prescription meds for disposal, and see about shredding some old tax records. (Maybe at my lawyer’s office.)

I wish I could get to the point where I can relax. I’ve had months and months of stress. I feel exhausted each day before doing anything. I don’t have a choice. In two weeks the Conklins will arrive and stay a few days. In three weeks the house must be available to be shown. THREE WEEKS!! DOESN’T SOUND POSSIBLE!

My only hope is to find a cleaning company or person to come in and clean away all the dirt and dust. Then the clutter will be easier to manage. It needs to be done before the 9th of July.

I leave for Florida in 36 days. Coincidentally it was 36 days ago that John died. The time has gone past in a blur but it also seems like it’s been dragging since I’m anxious to move past this period when everything is upheaval and head south to tranquillity.

When I get to the condo, my work won’t be finished. I want to immediately find someone to build storage in the office/former utility room area so I’ll have some place to hide the stuff I’m bringing and stuff that I want to store away. Everything needs to be organized. The garage has too much in it. A lot can be donated or sold but a lot can be put in the new closets/cupboards/pantries. It may take months but baby steps should do it. (And each day, I plan to take a break and go to the pool or to exercise.)

If I don’t let it get ahead of me, I can probably keep it up. I may need a cleaning person, but if so, I’ll hire help. I don’t want to live in confusion and chaos. Leaving our home every few months was a recipe for the mind-boggling problem we created.

I wish near the end John had taken more time for enjoyment. I know he wasn’t up to doing much, but the fun in our lives had stopped. I need to have it resume.