Maybe it’s because I’m such a short-timer in my lovely home that I’m experiencing tears today. Or maybe because it’s exactly two months ago that I lost John. For whatever reason, I have lump in my throat that won’t go away.

I know John loved it so much here and somehow I feel almost disloyal for selling the house. Logically, I know I can’t keep it. (And he knew that I’d need to sell it asap.) I’m just not strong enough to do the work necessary to keep it looking good, but it’s still difficult.

I know that in my present mood, I could easily fall into a funk, so when I get to Florida, I’m going to stay busy with fun activities. I don’t want to “get depressed.” It’s just not in my nature to be sad.

I’ve always said that John and I lived the “good life.” Even when he was very ill, I felt that we were fortunate to have each other and our wonderful Florida friends. I lost John, but I have wonderful memories. John lived to be 80 which is a longer than what is expected. Somehow, that doesn’t help. I’m feeling extra blue today.