Today is Friday. A week from Sunday (June 8th) I’ll be flying to Florida. I’m really looking forward to it.

As it gets closer to my departure, I get more concerned about my Mother (who has advanced Alzheimers). I’m really worried about her. It’s been nearly two months since I last saw her. I fear she will have forgotten me completely and I’ll have lost her.

I will arrive in Tampa at about 1:10. The airport shuttle is supposed to pick me up about 1:30. By the time they drive me to Kings Point, it’ll be close to 2:30. My first thought is to ditch my luggage at the condo and hurriedly go check on Mom.

But if I’m going to be logical and sensible, I know I should wait until closer to 5:00.

At 3:00, she’ll be impossible to awaken – mid-afternoon is when she’s sleepiest. At 3:00, she won’t know me. She’ll be in a stupor. It’ll be agony and disappointing. If I can postpone the visit until 5:00 (or even 4:45), which is her meal time, she’ll be more alert and responsive.

Can I stall?

I’ve talked it over with John and he says I should definitely wait. Otherwise I’ll be crushed by her reaction. He knows she’s lost in the mid-afternoon. He reminded me that I need to turn on the water, the water heater, and open up everything.

It’ll take a while to bring my luggage in and make the golf cart driveable.

Maybe I should just plan to slip into a swim suit and go say “hi” to our friends at the pool.

But what if she’s awake and she feels I didn’t come right over? What if she’s alert and I miss that time with her? Isn’t it funny how, even when your mother is as “far gone” as mine, you want her approval and you aim to do what she’d think is best.