If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?
How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?
If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?
If heat rises, then shouldn’t hell be cold?
Why can’t you get a tan on your palms?
How come popcorn isn’t a vegetable?
Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
If Sunday is the holy day of rest why do we have to get up early for church?
When you snap your fingers, does the sound occur when your middle finger releases from your thumb, or when your middle finger hits the palm of your hand?
Why are you IN a movie, but your ON TV?
If you don’t pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
Why is Bra singular and Panties plural?
What are those little things on the end of your shoelaces called? (Answer: They’re called aglets.)
How can someone be dirt poor, and another be filthy rich?
When you put ‘THE’ and ‘IRS’ together, it forms ‘THEIRS’. Coincidence? I think not?
Isn’t it scary that the word “therapist” is the same as the words “the” and “rapist” put together?
Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?
Why do people say heads up when you should duck?
Why did Superman wear his briefs on the outside of his tights?
Why do they call it your “bottom”, when it’s really in the middle of your body?
Why do British people never sound British when they sing?
Why is it called a TV set when there is only one?
If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
If you mated a bull dog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?
Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why is an elevator still called an elevator even when its going down?
Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn’t it be called an inlet.
If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?

Credit should be given to http://www.goodquotes.com/funnythoughts.htm