I just want it to be over! I want to be in Florida. I’m ready to start the next phase of my life.

Everything here in my Michigan home reflects on the past and although my time with John provides great memories, I realize that in order to be content with the remainder of my life I have to look forward.

I know it’s only been a month but I’ve been totally alone with my grief. I don’t want to stay here and let it bog me down. I want to be with friends, I want to meet new friends (especially other widows). Maybe I’ll do some volunteer work and I want to accomplish some things John and I planned to do to our Florida condo.

The sooner I leave this place, the sooner I can break the hold of encompassing sadness. Sure I’ll still have an empty spot that will never be filled, but I don’t want this shroud to become my way of life. I’ve been experiencing 24/7 isolation and I’m ready to go to the next phase.

I want to be with people, with sunshine, and I won’t mind the heat that goes with it. (Every morning is chilly here and we’ve had lots of overcast days.) I will still be grieving, but I’ll have more tools to deal with it. I’ve had solo time long enough. 32 days of total isolation is ENOUGH!