Susan Sussman did the cutest “lip sync” at the Rockin Rondezvous contest night. She was a hands down winner!!!

You’d have loved it.

========

The lyrics:

I’M A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN

I’M A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN, AND I’M REALLY IN MY PRIME
I’M A MIDDLE-AGED BROAD, AND I’M LOOKING MIGHTY FINE
MATURE AND SEXY, HEALTHY AND FIT
NICE AND RIPE, AND I CAN’T REMEMBER SHIT

I’M IRRITABLE AND CRABBY, AND MY MOOD IS ON THE SWING- YES, IT IS
MY CYCLES ARE IRREGULAR, AND MY UNDERWEAR CLINGS
MY THERMOSTAT HAS REALLY GONE AWRY
I’M SWEATING LIKE A PIG, WHILE MY CHA CHA IS TOTALLY DRY

OOOHHH, I’M WORKING ON A HOT FLASH
YEAH, I’M ON THE VERGE
BUILDING UP STEAM FOR A POWER SURGE

HOT FLASH
NOW MY FACE IS RED
LOOKING FOR A TOWEL TO MOP MY HEAD

HOT FLASH
OOH, IT COMES ON QUICK
MY CLOTHES ARE DRIPPIN’ AND MY SKIN IS SLICK
(PANT PANT PANT) IS IT WARM IN HERE?
(PANT PANT PANT) IS IT HOT IN HERE?

HOT FLASH
AT THE GROCERY STORE
JAMMIN’ MY HEAD IN THE FREEZER DOOR

HOT FLASH
200 DEGREES… (spoken) WHAT ARE YOU LOOKIN’ AT?

I’M PERIMENOPAUSAL, AND I CAN’T REMEMBER SQUAT
THERE’S A RINGING IN MY EARS, AND I TEND TO FART A LOT
A 5 O’CLOCK SHADOW WASN’T IN MY PLANS
EVERYTIME I SNEEZE, I FRICKING PEE MY PANTS

I CAN’T SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT, MY LIBIDO’S OUT OF WHACK
I’VE GOT BIFOCAL CONTACTS, AND I’M SWEATING MORE THAN SHAQ
I’M FEELING REALLY ANXIOUS, MAYBE I COULD SCORE SOME CRACK
OR DRINK SOME BLACK COHOSH TEA (bleah, ick)

I’M A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN, I SUDDENLY DON’T REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE
I MUST BE A MUSICIAN, BECAUSE I’M PLAYING A GUITAR
YES, I’M MIDDLE-AGED, HERE ON THIS STAGE
I’M MIDDLE-AGED, COMPLETELY CRAZED
I’M A MIDDLE-AGED….
(DON’T MESS WITH MY SOCIAL SECURITY!)
MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN!

=====================

The person who wrote it (I believe her name is Lisa Koch) really did a great job poking fun at conditions all mature women relate to. Sue’s rendition was awesome.

The evening was a mixture of fun and so-so time.

One thing really upset us was that, for the first hour of the evening, there were several tiny kids (2-4 years old) on the dance floor and to me that’s totally inappropriate in an adult drinking setting. If a child gets hurt by being bumped by someone who can’t see them at knee level, who will be sued? Is it appropriate for tiny toddlers to be subjected to adults in a drinking setting? Twice I saw adults walking across the room carrying a tray of drinks and a near miss occurred. The tiny kids were obscured by the tray and didn’t pay any attention to the adults.

The seating was also at a real premium. Although they aren’t supposed to, folks saved seats all over the place. We arrived early and found our places, but it was a mess because by the time the event was scheduled to start (at 4:00), all seats were taken. As folks arrived, they didn’t appreciate finding 3/4’s of the chairs reserved for folks who hadn’t arrived yet.

We were in the midst of folks we didn’t know at all. They were very nice, but it wasn’t as much fun as last week.

When the lip sync contest started, it didn’t matter who we were sitting by. We all enjoyed the efforts of the four acts.

We left as soon as it was over.