Although I’d known for a while that my computer had a terminal condition, I was still hoping. Tuesday, September 9, 2008, after long and faithful service, I had to acknowledge it was gone. It showed me one last blue screen and then nothing…

Right now John and I are heading south to be with Mom. She’s not doing well. Monday, I had signed the paperwork to allow hospice to help with her care. She was moved to the Sun City Hospice House while I was flying back to Michigan Tuesday, September 9th.

Wednesday was a blur. We had a performance plus we had to finish packing. I talked with the Hospice folks and with Mercedes, Mom’s caregiver, several times.

Thursday about 9:00 a.m., we hit the road to drive back down to Florida. Mom’s new hospice doctor contacted me. She said at some point I should decide not to continue her treatment. She said it would be kinder to let Mom die of an infection that extend her life much longer.

I’m not ready to do that. I still think she hasn’t reached that point yet when it’s appropriate to make that decision. We’re headed back to her. The doctor has said, and I am sure, she will recover from this infection and continue to live but probably not very long..

I fear this trip to Florida is my final opportunity both to be with Mom and to convince John that buying a place in Florida would be a good idea. It will be that much sadder for me, if I lose Mom AND the life-style and friends we have come to enjoy and are such a big part of our lives. I hope John sees it that way too. I know for me, it will be a double loss if we don’t continue to be in Kings Point several months out of the year.

But I’m an eternal optimist. My experience with my computer is a little like my experience with Mom. I kept hoping and I was sure that my laptop would run on and on. Sadly I was wrong. I had made contingency plans (back-ups), but I was unprepared. Of course the computer is just a handy device and replaceable. With Mom, I’ve been her caretaker. I’ve nursed her and made sure she was safe. I’ve hugged her and held her. I’ve learned to be me more caring and to be happy with small miracles like Tuesday’s hoarsely stated, “I love you” which she said before I left.

I’ll be with Mom this afternoon.