Mom’s funeral is over. It went very well. I had asked a minister from the Memorial Presbyterian Church in Midland to perform the service. He did a very nice job. The highlight of the service was a message from my mother’s long time best friend. It really put a personal touch on everything.

Elaine’s message was as follows:

Date sent: Tue, 16 Sep 2008 19:29:30 -0700
From: “E. Doehring”
To: Sharon Skaryd
Subject: Ruby

“Dear Sharon,

“Thank you for letting us know about your Mother’s death.
For some reason I had thought about her several times these last few
days. I wondered how she was doing. And how you were doing, too. I was
also remembering some of the days of long ago in the days when we were
young. I have been told that we played together when we were about 2
years old. I do not remember that, but for some reason I remember that
they lived in a big house with lots of shade. It felt so cool. I think
we were living in a place that did not have trees.
We had such fun in high school. She was a lot more popular with the boys
than I was, but I was willing to just have them around!! One of those
boys was Harry, which I am sure you know. [NOTE: Harry is Elaine’s husband
and later in this message she talks about the fun they had after Elaine and Harry and
my mom and dad were married.] He seemed like such a nuisance to me but it
was fun to have him around!! One year we sat together. (At that time there were
two seater desks) She always seemed happy and pretty and fun!! I really envied her
having so many sisters. I just had brothers and they were such a nuisance!
One year I drove to school and was instructed by my father that I could not go off
“the meridian” and the pavement into Merrill. Ruby needed a ride and my route was about
3/4 of a mile from her house. Dad would not allow me to drive down and pick
her up–one side of the road had a huge ditch and he was sure I would
drive in it. So she would walk to the corner and I would pick her up.
Even in mid winter. Then we would talk and giggle al the way to school.
Even today, I feel that my Dad was wrong, but that is the way it was.
Later, after we both were married, the four of us became good friends.
your Father was also a very special person and we had such good times
with them. One of the most memorable to us was when we lived in a tiny
basement apartment in Dearborn. You were a very new baby, and you all
stayed overnight with us. Our bed was a sofa bed that opened for night
time use and all FIVE of us slept in it. (Fitfully, I assure you) You
may have had a basket thingy that you were in. That is one of our most
special memories. Also the times at the lake, and so many others.
You have been a wonderful daughter. Sometimes it must have been a trial,
but now that it is over, you will never regret that you took good care
of her. I guess that special mothers often have special daughters.
Crazy as it sounds, for we hadn’t seen each other for a long time, I
miss her. Somehow my world has changed. This is the first year in years
that I did not send her a card for her birthday. Even if she couldn’t
have read it, I feel negligent for forgetting my best friend.
Take care of yourselves, and I hope you will keep in touch with me.

Love, Elaine—and Harry, too.”

The attendance for today’s funeral and for the luncheon was hard to project. I planned for 75, we probably had fewer than 50. Denny and I took home enough ham, au gratin potatoes, and beans to feed an army. (After I enjoy them tonight for dinner, I’ll freeze mine.)

I should be packing to head back to Florida. But right now I’m enjoying a quiet time with a glass of wine and my thoughts.

Mom was a special lady. She enjoyed fun times and always seemed willing to participate. She was multi-talented. One guest last night said, “When she worked (at Consumers Power), your mother was the smartest, best organized person I knew. She was always on-top of things.”

My parents were half way through a huge cottage addition and renovation when my father developed a heart condition. Mom became the “lady carpenter” (which was her CB “handle” back in the 70’s). Dad couldn’t go up on a ladder any more, so Mom did the roofing, the siding, the dry-walling and finished the addition so that it was a show-place. She was awesome.

After retiring to Florida, she joined golf leagues, ball room dance classes and clubs, and traveled the world.

She had a good life. I can just imagine what a feeling of dread must have over-come her when she realized she was losing her memory. It probably was noticeable to her eight to ten years ago. She didn’t tell us and wouldn’t admit to her condition, but she detailed her life in a notebook and made excellent “notes” for me so I could take over her affairs. She made sure she had a long-time insurance policy which covered a large percentage of her expenses these past four years.

My mom’s gone now. But as my husband pointed out, people live on in memories. As long as we remember them, they’ll always exist.

I remember Mom.
I remember Dad.
I recall with detail my great grandmother, Clara Brophey.

Those are the generations that went before me and the strong influences which shaped the person I am now.