Our new (to us) golf cart is getting quite a workout. About 1:00 we picked up Mom and took her out for a milk shake at Java Cow (a new business in town). Mom rode willingly but did complain that the sun was hot. She woofed down her shake and really seemed to enjoy it. We took her the “round about” way back to her nursing home.

After leaving her, we decided to drop in on her husband, Hoagie. He’s miserable, not because his care isn’t top notch, but he feels he’s totally lost control of everything. He wants to make decisions and be free to come and go. He’s 97, can’t walk, and is in no condition to be on his own. Previously he lived in the assistant living part of the same facility, but he had no one to interact with him. Now he’s in a secure unit, with people around him. He’s forced into a “community.” It is actually a better set-up for him but the decision to be moved wasn’t his. He’s mad. He’s resentful.

So we took him out. Getting him in the golf cart wasn’t easy, but we managed. We drove him back to the condo complex and he visited with some of his good friends. He’s especially close to his friend, Dale. He talked out some of his frustrations, and we found some ways to make him feel more in control.

When it was time to take him back, he didn’t complain. I think he felt we’d given him the opportunity to be “in charge” and to make some decisions. He felt he had some of his dignity back.

Over the next month we’ll give him lots of chances to go out with us. If we can get him to tell us where he wants to go and what he wants to see, maybe he’ll realize he can have some “control.” I’m sure he’ll feel better about his situation. At least I hope so. He’s a proud man. He needs his dignity back.

Visits with Mom and Hoagie took up most of the afternoon. We also needed some groceries so it was about 4:00 before we finally got to the pool for our daily dip. At 4:00 the sun was low enough that we didn’t have to worry as much about getting a little too much like we did yesterday.

It was a fun Sunday.