I’m in an uncomfortable position in my life: A time of change.

I’ve been Vice President of the Original Dulcimer Players Club since June and Workshop Chairman since 1996. When I took the Vice President job a few months ago, I made it clear that my role was a temporary one as a fill-in. But when nominations to fill the job for a full term were open, I thought seriously about running for the office. I decided against it when I realized that there were two other capable people who wanted the position.

And recently it was suggested to me that, because of my age, I may want to find a replacement in my job as “workshop chairman.” I’ve done it for 17 years! After careful thought, I decided that it might be “time,” so I’ve been asking if there’s anyone willing to step up and take over my chairmanship role.

I guess, in my dream world, folks would say “NO! YOU CAN’T!!!” But it’s dawning on me that someone else can do the job. I’ll be replaced, and the “show will go on.”

But what about me? What will I do, who will I be? I am realizing that much of my identity has been centered on my involvement with the ODPC. I have enjoyed doing my job to the best of my ability.

I am trying to imagine what it will feel like when I am not Workshop Chairman. I have a fall-back role as Webmaster, but even that is a job which could end, based on the feelings and needs of “the Board of the ODPC.” Maybe that too will change over time.

Of course I still do website design, moderating of lists, and I’m involved with the Michigan Club in Florida (could even take a more active role there) and could be more involved in lots of other organizations.

What I really need to do is to become “more involved” in my own home here in Saginaw, so I feel more connected to it.

But maybe I’m getting too old to be worrying about having an important job to do.

Is it really necessary for my “identity?” Maybe I need to relax and accept that I can just enjoy life without “working” so hard to prove my worth.